- Howard: We're gonna go to Las Vegas, we're going to spend the University's money and we are not going to do one thing to justify it.
- Coach Hayden Fox: Howard, you don't know how to be a fun guy.
- Howard: Teach me. Teach me to be a fun guy. I don't want to be like this for the rest of my life.
- Coach Hayden Fox: I just somehow feel like I'm responsible for it.
- Shirley: You're totally responsible. I can't believe this has happened. I don't know whether to cry or shoot you.
- Coach Hayden Fox: I know how upset you are, Shirley, and believe me, I'm upset too. Anything I can do?
- Shirley: Would you like to pay the mortgage off on this house?