- Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam: If you'll excuse me, I gotta have lunch with my publisher.
- Coach Hayden Fox: You already had lunch.
- Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam: He doesn't know that.
- Coach Hayden Fox: No, no, you can't write it for the same reason I couldn't write it. It's gonna make you look like a loser.
- Assistant Coach Luther Horatio Van Dam: I am a loser, Hayden. Now I'm gettin' paid for it.