Coupling (TV Series)

Faithless (2002)

Richard Coyle: Jeffrey 'Jeff' Murdock

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jeff : Have you ever tried to pull out during an 'h'?

  Steve : Jeff, the world in all it's fabulous diversity is entirely populated by people who have never tried to 'pull out' during an 'h'

  Jeff : Yeah, and you know why? It isn't a proper letter. It's just a 'hhuuh' noise. Once you've started on the 'hhuuh' you've basically 'hhuuhed' so what could I say? 'Hello?' 'How are you'? 'Hippo'?

  Patrick : Hippo?

  Jeff : You can't say hippo. You don't want to come off sounding like some surreal cupboard loitering lunatic.

• Patrick : So what happened next?

  Jeff : She took a large stapler from one of the shelves.

  Patrick : A *large* stapler?

  [Steve stares at him] 

  Patrick : Sorry, it's hard to tell which part of the story is meant to be interesting.

• Jeff : You can't say 'hippo'. You don't want to come off sounding like some surreal, cupboard-loitering lunatic.

• Jeff : That's not the point. The point is the new and terrifying location of my arse.

• Jeff : It's an arse nightmare. An arsemare.

• Jeff : There I am, innocently trying to free my head from a photocopier and my arse is wiggling about like an arse-maniac, like an arse of insanity in the mind of a madman.