Coupling (TV Series)

Her Best Friend's Bottom (2001)

Jack Pierce: Junior Shop Assistant

Quotes 

• Junior Shop Assistant : Why do girls like you always have a boyfriend?

  Susan Walker : Because I have acute nymphomania and my own brewery.

• [Captain Subtext uses his "truth helmet" to read the characters' minds] 

  Junior Shop Assistant : [showing Susan some fabric patterns]  I have an enormous penis.

  Steve : Actually, I've-I've got a bigger penis by far.

  Junior Shop Assistant : Sorry, but my penis is staggeringly vast.

  Steve : Look, I'm-I'm massively well-endowed!

  Senior Shop Assistant : [taking the fabric]  I am the manager here, so *my* penis is like an enormous train, with gigantic...

  Susan Walker : Oh, for God's sake!