Dad's Army (TV Series)

No Spring for Frazer (1969)

Clive Dunn: LCpl. Jack Jones

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mainwaring : Well, let this be a vital lesson for us all. For the want of a nail, a shoe was lost. For the want of a shoe, a horse was lost. For the want of a horse, the battle was lost.

  Jones : Hence the expression: 'Keep your hair on'.

• Frazer : I won't have to clean that thing for three weeks.

  Mainwaring : That is not the right attitude to adopt Frazer. You should consider it an honour and a privilege to use this Lewis gun.

  Frazer : I think it's a privilege us ever getting a look in with you and the Sergeant using it all the time.

  Mainwaring : That'll do. That'll do. The butterfly spring seems to be missing from here Frazer.

  Frazer : What? Oh aye. So it is. I must have left it in me workshop.

  Mainwaring : Your workshop?

  Frazer : Aye. I took the gun home to be cleaned.

  Mainwaring : Look. For a start you've got no right to take that gun off these premises. Most of all that gun is totally useless without it's butterfly spring. If a Nazi Storm Trooper came rushing in from the sky you could do nothing with that but hit him with it.

  Jones : Permission to speak sir. If Frazer hit him with it, it wouldn't half make his eyes water.

• Frazer : [about Jones' not volunteering to dig up a coffin]  He never volunteers for anything unless Captain Mainwaring's watching.

  Jones : That's a very hurtful thing to say, I'm not a bit like that. Very well, I will volunteer to do this grisly thing.

  Frazer : Ah. Tell Captain Mainwaring after.

  Jones : Listen, if it wasn't for my age, I'd punch your 'ead in. As it is, I am giving you formal notice I shall not honour your meat coupons.

• Jones : [referring to Mr. Blewitt's brother, Horace]  Think of that, Sidney. He was only standing in my shop on Wednesday, and I served him with two books' worth of best end and neck.

  Mr. Blewitt : Yeah. He come home here, he put the shopping down on the table, and unwrapped that very piece of meat that you'd just served him with.

  Jones : You never know, do you?

  Mr. Blewitt : No. You never do. And do you know what the very last words he said?

  Jones : No, what were they?

  Mr. Blewitt : He stood there, where Mr. Frazer's standing now, with the meat in his hand. Look at that! he says. All bloody bone! And the very next second he was gone!