Dad's Army (TV Series)
The Deadly Attachment (1973)
Clive Dunn: LCpl. Jack Jones
Quotes
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Jones : Sir? Now that the crisis is past could you ask Private Frazer to take his hand out of my trousers.
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U-Boat Captain : You, old man - you take off your belt and undo ze back of your tunic.
Jones : I beg your pardon!
U-Boat Captain : Do as I tell you - remove your belt. And just to make sure, captain, that your behaviour is correct, zis old man will march in front of me.
[During this exchange, the U-Boat captain ties a piece of string to a hand grenade and then inserts it down the trousers of Lance Corporal Jones]
U-Boat Captain : And one false move from you, and I pull zee string!
Jones : Oh, don't make any false moves, Mr Mainwaring. And don't make any real ones either!