Photos
Quotes
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Jane Lane : [Daria is trying on bridesmaid dresses]
[In Southern accent]
Jane Lane : Oh Scarlett, you grow lovelier by the day!
Daria Morgendorffer : I will kill you. And bury your body in this dress.
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Daria Morgendorffer : [the Morgendorffers are approaching the wedding hotel] Redrum! Redrum!
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Brittany Taylor : [Brittany and Jodie see Daria and Jane in the wedding dress store] Daria?
Daria Morgendorffer , Brittany Taylor : What are you doing here?
Jane Lane : Isn't is obvious? An Arab sheik's in town to buy a few more wives.
Brittany Taylor : They're putting on a bridal expo in the gym. We're modeling!
Daria Morgendorffer : A bridal expo? That's a good message to send to high school students.
Jodie Abigail Landon : It's a fundraiser for extracurricular activities.
Jane Lane : I wonder what kind of extracurricular activities would lead to a wedding...
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Brittany Taylor : What about you? Are you in a play or something?
Daria Morgendorffer : Yes, I'm playing Mrs. Lincoln before she went crazy.
Brittany Taylor : I didn't know she went crazy!
Jane Lane : Oh, yeah. That's why Lincoln shot himself.
Brittany Taylor : Wow...!
Jodie Abigail Landon : Come on, Brittany. Let's finish out fitting, and I'll tell you all about how nice Mr. Lincoln really died.
Brittany Taylor : You mean the bullet didn't kill him...?
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Daria Morgendorffer : Amy, is life always tawdry, stupid, and humiliating, or is it just a phase?
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Just a phase. I'm expecting to grow out of it anytime now.
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Aunt Amy Barksdale : Hmm. I thought when I hit thirty I would stop feeling out of place at these things.
Daria Morgendorffer : You feel out of place?
Aunt Amy Barksdale : You didn't notice my sisters are so busy competing with each other that I don't even register on their radar?
Daria Morgendorffer : Yeah, but I just figured you were above all that. I mean, you're kind of...
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Cool?
Daria Morgendorffer : Um...
Aunt Amy Barksdale : I know, you can't say that to me. Law of the teenagers.
Daria Morgendorffer : Thank you for respecting it.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : When I was a kid, with Helen and Rita going at it all the time, all they left for me to do was to supply the color commentary. Then, one day, I found myself all grown up with my own point of view, and feeling no particular obligation to listen to anyone else's B.S. Ever.
Daria Morgendorffer : So it actually worked out pretty well.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Unless I have to see my sisters at a wedding, yeah. Sarcasm. It's a great way to deal.
[puts on round glasses similar to Daria's]
Aunt Amy Barksdale : But, you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
Daria Morgendorffer : [smirks] Nah.
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Daria Morgendorffer : I don't think you've thought this through. What do you do with the hostages one you get to the airport?
Jane Lane : They're coming with me. We're talking party plane. All the way to Libya.
Helen Morgendorffer : [On the front porch, Daria and Jane can hear Helen on the phone] Rita, that's so wonderful. I'm so happy for you! You and Erin both.
Daria Morgendorffer : Ah, you'd better take a hike.
Jane Lane : Why?
Daria Morgendorffer : My mom's talking to my Aunt Rita. This isn't going to be pretty.
Jane Lane : Gotcha. Later, huh?
Daria Morgendorffer : That remains to be seen.
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Aunt Amy Barksdale : [Amy is giving her car keys to the valet] I don't mind a few dents, but change the radio station and you're a dead man.
Aunt Rita Barksdale : Amy, how delightful. I thought you weren't coming.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : I wasn't, but I thought if you two could put aside years of bitterness and resentment, then so can I... for a day.
Aunt Rita Barksdale : Oh, Amy, why do you say such ridiculous things?
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Out loud? So, Jake. You're still with Helen, huh? Shows remarkable fortitude. And Roger. How's the skydiving going?
Helen Morgendorffer : Amy, Roger passed away. This is Paul.
Aunt Rita Barksdale : Oh. Sorry Paul. How do you do?
Paul : Who's Roger?
Quinn Morgendorffer : He fell onto a cow.
Paul : Ick!
Daria Morgendorffer : And he was one of the lucky ones.
Helen Morgendorffer : Girls!
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Hey, what's the point of a senseless tragedy if you can't find a little humor in it? I like the way you think, Daria.
[Daria smiles]
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Aunt Amy Barksdale : I suppose you want to ask me what your mother was like as a child.
Daria Morgendorffer : Okay. What was she?
Aunt Amy Barksdale : A tightly wound pain in the ass.
Daria Morgendorffer : New topic?
Aunt Amy Barksdale : You name it.
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Erin's Bridesmaid : You must be Erin's cousins.
Quinn Morgendorffer : I am, but Daria's her...
[speaks quietly]
Quinn Morgendorffer : cousin.
Erin's Bridesmaid : What?
Quinn Morgendorffer : Never mind.
Daria Morgendorffer : Actually, I'm in the witness protection program. The Morgendorffers were kind enough to take me in after my real family was exterminated by the mob.
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Daria Morgendorffer : I'm an exotic dancer. You know, at a club. I take my clothes off and dance in front of strange men.
Luhrman : She's really very good.
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Aunt Amy Barksdale : I hate myself in formal dress... and everyone else too.
[to Daria]
Aunt Amy Barksdale : You don't look too thrilled about things either.
Daria Morgendorffer : Oh no. I'm overjoyed to be at this big family event. Day-to-day life isn't humiliating enough.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : Let's see... you're in college now, or something?
Daria Morgendorffer : Still high school, unfortunately.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : I have some vague memories of high school, but these days, you all carry weapons, right?
Daria Morgendorffer : Well, not to formal occasions like this.
Aunt Amy Barksdale : That's where you kids make your mistake.