- Millie Helper: You know what I'm thinking?
- Rob Petrie: Uh, Freddie would be good for the part.
- Millie Helper: I think so, too!
- [Rob decides to rewrite his script for two kids, giving some lines to Ritchie]
- Rob Petrie: I better make sure they have equal parts.
- Laura Petrie: Well, no, they don't have to be exactly equal.
- Rob Petrie: Oh. Um, you mean Ritchie could have a couple more, huh?
- Laura Petrie: Well, you are his father.
- Rob Petrie: Yeah, well, I don't want you to become his stage mother.
- Laura Petrie: Oh, Rob!
- Buddy Sorrell: [suggesting a line] "Drive the Tarantula 8 and see what the well-dressed pedestrian will be dodging next year."
- Rob Petrie: That's good except I don't think Ritchie would say a thing like that.
- Buddy Sorrell: Well, why not?
- Rob Petrie: Well, an eight-year-old mind wouldn't come up with something that clever.
- Sally Rogers: [indicating Buddy] Oh, I don't know. His eight-year-old mind thought of it.
- Sally Rogers: Look, if I thought you were gonna use relatives on the show, I'd have made a pitch for my cat.
- Buddy Sorrell: Your cat? Well, he's a nice-lookin' cat but he's no Cary Grant.
- Sally Rogers: Yeah, but could Cary Grant catch mice?
- Buddy Sorrell: [giving it a thought] I think so.
- Sally Rogers: How do you like directing, Mel.
- Mel Cooley: Well, if things weren't so hectic I might say I'd found my niche.
- Buddy Sorrell: Why don't you scratch it.
- Laura Petrie: Well, listen, darling, I don't want to say anything...
- Rob Petrie: Good. That's a perfect start right there.
- Sally Rogers: Gee, wouldn't it be funny if Ritchie grew up to be a big star?
- Buddy Sorrell: Yeah, I can see it in lights now, "Hamlet", starring William Feldman.
- Sally Rogers: Who's William Feldman?
- Buddy Sorrell: Ritchie. He'll probably change his name.