The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Coast to Coast Big Mouth (1965)

Dick Curtis: Johnny Patrick

Quotes 

• Johnny Patrick : Petrie, Petrie... Is your husband in television?

  Laura Petrie : Yes, he is.

  Johnny Patrick : I thought that name was familiar. Ladies and gentlemen, this little lady happens to be married to one of the most talented men in our business.

  Laura Petrie : Thank you. I think he is.

  Johnny Patrick : The producer of that fantastic show "The World in Trouble" - Dave Petrie.

  Laura Petrie : Oh, no.

  Johnny Patrick : Oh, I'm sorry. He's not producing that show anymore.

  Laura Petrie : No, he's not my husband.

  Johnny Patrick : Oh, well, I didn't mean to let the cat out of the bag.

  Laura Petrie : No, no, he never was.

  Johnny Patrick : OH!

• Johnny Patrick : Have you ever been to Alan Brady's house?

  Laura Petrie : Oh, yes.

  Johnny Patrick : Uh-huh. Does he wear his toupee at home?

  Laura Petrie : Oh, golly, yes, he wears it all the time.

  Johnny Patrick : YOU MEAN THAT ALAN BRADY IS REALLY BALD?

  Laura Petrie : NO!

  Johnny Patrick : Well, then why does he wear a toupee?

  Laura Petrie : Well...

  Johnny Patrick : That's it, ladies. The secret's out. She knows and she said it. How about that, folks?

  Laura Petrie : I didn't mean to say it.

  Johnny Patrick : Laura, listen, don't worry about it. I'm sure that Alan will understand.

  Laura Petrie : Oh, no, he won't. You don't know him. When he finds out, he's gonna just...

  Johnny Patrick : He'll what? He'll what?

  Laura Petrie : Nothing.

  Johnny Patrick : What? What?

  Laura Petrie : Nothing. He a a nice man. Thank you very much for all the prizes.

  Johnny Patrick : Thank you for the scoop. Bye. How about that, girls? Are you having fun? Don't forget, you heard it on this show.