The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
Coast to Coast Big Mouth (1965)
Ann Morgan Guilbert: Millie Helper
Quotes
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Laura Petrie : Rob's home. Listen, Millie, would you stay with me?
Millie Helper : I wish you hadn't asked me that.
Laura Petrie : Why?
Millie Helper : 'Cause you're not gonna like my answer: Goodbye and good luck.
Laura Petrie : Oh, Millie...
Millie Helper : [nervously to Rob] Hi, I see you're home.
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[Millie and Laura can't decide on how to divide the prizes won on Pay As You Go!, so Rob steps in]
Rob Petrie : There are four prizes, right, Millie? You pick a number between one and ten.
Millie Helper : Ooo, uh, nine.
Rob Petrie : All right. Laura?
Laura Petrie : Three.
Rob Petrie : Three, all right. Uh, what's your favorite tree?
Millie Helper : Weeping willow.
Rob Petrie : Weeping willow.
Laura Petrie : The mighty oak.
Rob Petrie : All right, your favorite planet.
Laura Petrie : Earth.
Millie Helper : She took my planet.
Laura Petrie : Oh, Millie!
Millie Helper : Okay, give me Pluto.
Rob Petrie : Okay. Now that makes you a nine-willow-pluto, and that makes you a ten-oak-earth, so that means, Millie, that you get the dryer - right? - and the vacuum, and Laura gets rotisserie and a projector. That's it.
Millie Helper : Wonderful.
Laura Petrie : Rob, how did you arrive at that?
Rob Petrie : Well, what's the difference? We did it.
[Rob exits smiling slyly to himself, leaving Millie and Laura confounded]