The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

I Was a Teenage Head Writer (1963)

Morey Amsterdam: Buddy Sorrell

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Rob Petrie : But all we need is just one joke to finish the show. Come up with something, Buddy, and you can go home to your wife.

  Buddy Sorrell : Go home to my wife? What kind of reward is that?

• Rob Petrie : Look, Mel, as the head writer, I say it's a good script, and I'm sure Alan would agree with me, too.

  Mel Cooley : I'm sorry, there's no use talking...

  Rob Petrie : [interrupting]  Mel, I could go over your head.

  Buddy Sorrell : Watch it, Rob. It's slippery up there.

• Rob Petrie : I usually don't say this, but I think that sketch is one of the funniest we've written in months.

  Mel Cooley : Well, I'm sorry. It just didn't make me laugh.

  Buddy Sorrell : That PROVES it's funny.

• [Rob pulls out Buddy and Sally's submitted script] 

  Sally Rogers : Did Alan crumple this?

  Buddy Sorrell : [examining the paper]  Yup, that's Alan's crumple.

• Buddy Sorrell : Hey, hi ya, Mel. Hey, you've been worried about gettin' bald. I got good news for ya. You are NOT losing your hair.

  Mel Cooley : I'm not?

  Buddy Sorrell : [picking at his jacket]  No, I just found it. Look, there's some here and here and...

• Sally Rogers : You don't wanna open a comedy show with jokes?

  Rob Petrie : N-n-no.

  Buddy Sorrell : Maybe we should open it with the Budapest String Quartet.

• Buddy Sorrell : He's the head writer. He's got to have a lot of room for his head.

• Buddy Sorrell : [to Mel, from whom he's extorting lunch service]  And tomorrow: cold vichyssoise, chicken a la king, and any fruit that's not in season.