- Fred Staggs: Mary Jane can't get out of the bathtub without me.
- Rob Petrie: Why?
- Fred Staggs: I forgot to unpack the towels.
- Laura Petrie: You know, Millie was acting awfully strange the other day, too.
- Rob Petrie: How can you tell?
- [Millie interrupts Jerry with a patient for important news]
- Jerry Helper: What is it, Millie?
- Millie Helper: Well, if you really wanna know, Laura doesn't have any cream for your coffee.
- Fred Staggs: Mary Jane told me to return your screwdriver, but I'm returning it anyway. How's that for a neighbor, huh?
- Jerry Helper: Well, I gotta hand it to ya, Millie. That was one of the rottenest dinners you ever cooked in your life.
- Millie Helper: Sure, be funny. We're losing our best friends and you're tryin' to be funny.
- Jerry Helper: Millie, I'm not being funny. I'm-I'm really... I'm nauseous. What did you put in that gravy.
- Millie Helper: Oh, who cares?
- Jerry Helper: Well, I do. I may need an antidote.
- Jerry Helper: You think we're so childish to be hurt by anything so childish?
- Laura Petrie: Then how come Millie's been in the shower all day?
- Jerry Helper: Well, you know how childish Millie is.
- [a horn-like sound is heard]
- Laura Petrie: What was that?
- Rob Petrie: That's stereo feedback - the mating call of two hi-fi bugs who just found each other.
- Laura Petrie: And you mated 'em.
- Fred Staggs: I don't want to be known as a sponger around the neighborhood. Oh by the way, Mary Jane wants to borrow a sponge.
- Rob Petrie: I wouldn't be surprised if they asked us to move our house so they can put theirs together.