The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Romance, Roses and Rye Bread (1964)

Morey Amsterdam: Buddy Sorrell

Quotes 

• [Sally discovers a single red rose in her desk] 

  Rob Petrie : I think you've got a secret admirer, huh?

  Sally Rogers : Secret admirer?

  Buddy Sorrell : Yeah, you know, like those guys who send, uh, a dozen roses to chorus girls.

  Sally Rogers : Yeah, but I'm not a chorus girl.

  Buddy Sorrell : That's why you only got one.

• Buddy Sorrell : Hey, there he is, the guy with enough foreheads for four heads.

  Mel Cooley : I have no time for your insults.

  Buddy Sorrell : [brightly]  We can do it later.

• Bert Monker : What is Rock Huson gonna give ya? Heartache.

  Buddy Sorrell : Yeah, what do we get from your sandwiches? Heartburn.

• Sally Rogers : That's the story of my life. I'm surrounded by funny guys. You know, just once, just once, I'd like to meet a guy who only knew one punch line, "Will you mary me?"

  Buddy Sorrell : That's a straight line.

  Sally Rogers : I'll take it. No, I mean it, I mean it. I don't care, even if he's not in show business or knows nothing about comedy, is a dull, bland, unfunny guy.

  Buddy Sorrell : [to Mel]  Don't just stand there - volunteer.

• Rob Petrie : Well, I guess I'll call Laura and tell her to start dinner without me.

  Buddy Sorrell : I better call Pickles and tell her to start fighting without me.

• Rob Petrie : Hey, wait a minute. This rose DOES have kind of a manly smell about it. What... what is it, Buddy?

  Buddy Sorrell : [smelling Sally's rose]  Pastrami.

  Rob Petrie : Yeah. That's what it is. It's pastrami.

  Sally Rogers : Well, there's our first clue. My secret admirer loves pastrami.

  Buddy Sorrell : Either that or this flower was pollinated by a kosher bee.

• Sally Rogers : [trying to learn the source of her rose]  Mel, Mel? Um, you have a garden, don't you?

  Mel Cooley : It's my hobby.

  Sally Rogers : [presenting her flower]  Do you know anything about that?

  Mel Cooley : [taking and appraising it]  Why yes. It's a rose.

  [Mel hands it back and exits] 

  Buddy Sorrell : We shoulda called him earlier.

• Buddy Sorrell : Avant garde? That's French for off-Broadway garbage.

• Buddy Sorrell : [seeing Mel exit]  There he goes, the only office boy with a key to the executive washroom.

• Rob Petrie : [Buddy suggests that a rose found in Sally's desk could be for Rob or himself]  Oh come on, they don't send roses to fellas.

  Buddy Sorrell : Yeah, that's right, a rose is kind of a sissy flower.

  Rob Petrie : Are there manly flowers?

  Buddy Sorrell : Why sure, there's snapdragons, tiger lilies, stinkweed.

  Sally Rogers : Oh Buddy, come on!

  Buddy Sorrell : Crabgrass, jonquils...