The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Stacey Petrie: Part II (1965)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Millie doesn't know the full story about Stacey] 

  Rob Petrie : Didn't you tell her?

  Laura Petrie : Well, Rob, you told me not to.

  Rob Petrie : You mean that WORKS?

  Laura Petrie : Sometimes.

• Rob Petrie : Well, it's a basic business principle, Millie. You should never open a nightclub the night after you've gone and told the girl you love that you're not James Garner. Very bad for business.

• Rob Petrie : You were supposed to see Julie hours ago.

  Stacey Petrie : Well, yeah, I... I know, but I had this thing to do.

  Rob Petrie : What's that?

  Stacey Petrie : Work up courage.

• Rob Petrie : Uh, Millie, you wanna come down and help us decorate?

  Millie Helper : No thanks.

  Rob Petrie : Well... go home.

• Rob Petrie : [hoping to lift Stacey's spirits]  Honey, would you please tell him how you felt about me when we first met? Just tell him, will ya?

  Laura Petrie : Well, I couldn't STAND Rob. I thought he was arrogant, repulsive, insufferable... Just hearing his voice, Stacey, used to make my flesh crawl. I thought that he was just about the most...

  [notices Rob's pained expression and stops] 

  Rob Petrie : What we're trying to say, Stace, is that... maybe it isn't over with Julie. You know, I mean, look at us. Our beginnings couldn't have been any worse.

  Laura Petrie : Yeah, I thought he was brash and vulgar...

  Rob Petrie : I think we covered that, honey. I... It's just that, the thing is that, there's not just one person for every other person, Stace.

  Laura Petrie : Right! If Rob had continued to revolt me, I have no doubt in this world I would have found somebody just as nice as Rob - maybe even nicer.

  Rob Petrie : And I wouldn't exactly have jumped off a cliff if I hadn't married Laura, either. I could have... I could have... There's no telling what kind of a great girl I might have found.

  [Rob and Laura stare at each other, both egos a little wounded] 

• Rob Petrie : He might have ended up in the gutter with that drunken actor, Willie Cooke again.

  Willie Cooke : Sir, I have an announcement to make. I have left the gutter for good.