- Rob Petrie: [after Ritchie leaves] He spells better than you do.
- Laura Petrie: And why not? He's my S-U-N.
- Rob Petrie: [reading a note] "In one minute your telephone will ring."
- Laura Petrie: Well, what a crazy note. I wonder who it is.
- [telephone rings]
- Rob Petrie: Let's ask.
- Laura Petrie: You know, there ought to be a statute of limitations on how many times you have to repay a favor.
- Rob Petrie: We're sitting here knocking Neil so much I'm beginning to feel guilty about him now.
- Buddy Sorrell: Ah, don't feel so bad. I love Pickles, but if somebody asked me if she'd make a good wife I would have to say no.
- Sally Rogers: Buddy, you shouldn't talk like that. You know, if I were your wife...
- Buddy Sorrell: Call her, maybe we can make a deal.
- Rob Petrie: Listen, how's your wife?
- Neil Schenk: Oh, ex-wife. I blew another one.
- Rob Petrie: Gee, I'm sorry.
- Neil Schenk: Oh, don't be. You know, I do such a volume business, the judge gives me group alimony.
- [Neil moves his dinner party to a better table]
- Rob Petrie: The sign says reserved.
- Neil Schenk: I know.
- [pointing over the door]
- Neil Schenk: That one says "exit" but are we leaving?
- Rob Petrie: Well, I'll never forget it, Neil.
- Neil Schenk: Oh, would I let you?
- Rob Petrie: [laughs nervously] I doubt it.
- Laura Petrie: [Neil borrowed Laura's car] Can we be sure he'll come back?
- Rob Petrie: Honey, there's one thing sure about Neil Schenk. He always comes back.
- Buddy Sorrell: Why don't you just tell a big fat lie, write the letter, forget it?
- Sally Rogers: Oh Buddy, where are your principles?
- Buddy Sorrell: Well, my high school principal's in New Jersey.