- Laura Petrie: Now, Lieutenant, my husband doesn't want publicity. He wants his table and chairs.
- Rob Petrie: Honey, I know how to say it. Lieutenant, I don't want any publicity. I want my table and chairs.
- Jerry Helper: Boy, oh, boy, every year she gets more and more nervous.
- Millie Helper: That's 'cause you keep bringin' explosives into our bedroom.
- Jerry Helper: [discovering Jerry outside his open bedroom window carrying a rifle] What the hell do you think you're DOIN'?
- Jerry Helper: Well, uh, Rob, I didn't want to ring the bell and wake up Ritchie.
- Rob Petrie: So you decided to shoot a gun off in the room.