The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Ghost of A. Chantz (1964)

Richard Deacon: Mel Cooley

Quotes 

• Melvin 'Mel' Cooley : As long as there's a possibility of driving him crazy, I'll never tell.

• Mr. Little : There are no reservations. No rooms.

  Melvin 'Mel' Cooley : Well, that's impossible.

  Robert 'Rob' Petrie : That's what we've been telling him. Look, Mr. Cooley called and made reservations. Right, Mel?

  Melvin 'Mel' Cooley : That's right. I...

  [realizes that he forgot and holds his forehead] 

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : The Hairless Phantom strikes again.

• Melvin 'Mel' Cooley : Rob and I will work things out. Look, why don't you girls go and have dinner.

  Melvin 'Mel' Cooley : [Referring to Buddy]  Oh, and take IT with you. Rob, I-I just feel awful.

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : Don't feel so bad, Mel. You finally accomplished a great feat - you got everybody hating you at the same time.

  [to stuffed moose on the wall] 

  Maurice B. 'Buddy' Sorrell : Attack!