- [after first checking that he's alone, Rob attempts to see if Uncle Hezekiah's old oil lamp is in fact Aladdin's lamp. He rubs it then carefully open the top lid]
- Laura Petrie: [having come up behind him unheard] Yes?
- Rob Petrie: [nearly jumping out of his skin] OH!
- Mr. Harlow: [checking through old coins] Of course we all know about the nickel. Yes, it's a buffalo on one side and an Indian head on the other.
- Buddy Sorrell: I got one here that's just the opposite.
- Mr. Harlow: You have a very rare sense of humor.
- Sally Rogers: Yeah, and they haven't found a cure for it yet, either.
- [Everybody looks through old coins for a buffalo on a plain rather than on a mound, with no luck]
- Buddy Sorrell: Hey, I got one.
- Rob Petrie: There's a buffalo on a... on a plain?
- Buddy Sorrell: No, the plane left. He's on a bus.
- Laura Petrie: It's the biggest... I mean the very biggest diamond I've ever seen in my whole life!
- Rob Petrie: Where? Next to this glass doorknob?
- Hezekiah Petrie: Robbie, last time I saw you, you must have been, oh, thirteen years old.
- Rob Petrie: [talking back to the screen] I was twelve.
- Hezekiah Petrie: No, twelve years old.
- Rob Petrie: What's the difference?
- Hezekiah Petrie: Oh, what difference does it make?
- Hezekiah Petrie: [his riddle] In what you inherit are riches beyond compare, so get in there, and-and ferret here, there, and everywhere.
- Rob Petrie: Honey, those aren't just marbles.
- Laura Petrie: What do you mean?
- Rob Petrie: Well, they're all puries.
- Rob Petrie: We got three wishes! Aladdin's Lamp!
- Laura Petrie: I wish you'd stop acting so silly.
- Sally Rogers: Oh, I wish you'd open it!
- Laura Petrie: Come on!
- Rob Petrie: I wish you'd all be quiet! That's three wishes. We just blew it.
- Rob Petrie: Buddy, a numismatist is a coin expert.
- Buddy Sorrell: Oh. Well, these are old coins. Get an oldmismatist.
- Laura Petrie: You're-you're not thinking of selling it, are you?
- Rob Petrie: Huh? I'm not? Well, I mean... Well, of course not. Why not?
- Rob Petrie: Why'd you have to think of that, anyway?
- Laura Petrie: I only thought of it a couple seconds before you would have.
- Rob Petrie: Yeah, but it makes you nicer than me, anyhow.
- Mr. Harlow: If you hold on to these, in time they'll be worth 7000-8000 dollars.
- Rob Petrie: When?
- Mr. Harlow: About the turn of the century.
- Buddy Sorrell: That's a pretty slow turn. You don't even have to put your hand out for that one.
- Leland Ferguson: Now, suppose we get this over with as fast as possible. These matters are never pleasant, and my wife has a roast in the oven.