"The Dick Van Dyke Show" The Last Chapter (TV Episode 1966) - Dick Van Dyke as Rob Petrie

Laura Petrie : I only read the first chapter. Is the rest as good?

Rob Petrie : Honey, it... Better. I improve as I get along. I be... I start to use punctuation, everything.
Rob Petrie : Are you ready for a little bit of good news?

Laura Petrie : Yeah, I think so.

Rob Petrie : I heard from the publisher today.

Laura Petrie : Yeah?

Rob Petrie : He hates it, boy!

[laughter]

Rob Petrie : He said it reminded him of about fifty other books.

Laura Petrie : He's kidding.

Sally Rogers : No, no, that's what they said.

Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : That's right. One editor said it stunk!

Laura Petrie : Well, why is everyone so happy?

Rob Petrie : Because Alan read it and he loved it.

Alan Brady : What do I know from style?

Rob Petrie : Honey, Alan wants to produce it as a television series.

Laura Petrie : [in amazement] Your book's gonna be a television series?

Alan Brady : It's true. Of course, I won't do it till after my series is defunct, which may never be.

Rob Petrie : Yeah, Alan is going to play me.

Sally Rogers : Gee, and the three of us are going to write it and Leonard Bershad is going to produce it.

[loud commotion]

Rob Petrie : Wait, hold it, hold it a second. Honey, what do you think?

Laura Petrie : Oh gosh, I don't know what to say - Alan is really going to play you?

Alan Brady : And Rob won't have to shave his head - I'll wear a toupee.

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie