The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Last Chapter (1966)

Carl Reiner: Alan Brady

Quotes 

• Rob Petrie : Are you ready for a little bit of good news?

  Laura Petrie : Yeah, I think so.

  Rob Petrie : I heard from the publisher today.

  Laura Petrie : Yeah?

  Rob Petrie : He hates it, boy!

  [laughter] 

  Rob Petrie : He said it reminded him of about fifty other books.

  Laura Petrie : He's kidding.

  Sally Rogers : No, no, that's what they said.

  Maurice (Buddy) Sorrell : That's right. One editor said it stunk!

  Laura Petrie : Well, why is everyone so happy?

  Rob Petrie : Because Alan read it and he loved it.

  Alan Brady : What do I know from style?

  Rob Petrie : Honey, Alan wants to produce it as a television series.

  Laura Petrie : [in amazement]  Your book's gonna be a television series?

  Alan Brady : It's true. Of course, I won't do it till after my series is defunct, which may never be.

  Rob Petrie : Yeah, Alan is going to play me.

  Sally Rogers : Gee, and the three of us are going to write it and Leonard Bershad is going to produce it.

  [loud commotion] 

  Rob Petrie : Wait, hold it, hold it a second. Honey, what do you think?

  Laura Petrie : Oh gosh, I don't know what to say - Alan is really going to play you?

  Alan Brady : And Rob won't have to shave his head - I'll wear a toupee.