The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

The Life and Love of Joe Coogan (1964)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Quotes 

• Rob Petrie : I just don't see why a happily married woman has to keep a box full of strange love sonnets hidden down in her basement.

  Laura Petrie : They're not HIDDEN in the basement.

  Rob Petrie : They're not? I didn't see any shoebox down there.

  Laura Petrie : Well, you're just not very observant, that's all, 'cause they're... lying right there.

  Rob Petrie : Where?

  Laura Petrie : By the furnace.

  Rob Petrie : There's no shoebox by that furnace.

  Laura Petrie : Well, they're there. They're... right behind some loose bricks.

• Rob Petrie : Sally, what're you doin' tonight?

  Sally Rogers : Nothin', but I think I can get out of it.

• Sally Rogers : What's he look like?

  Rob Petrie : Oh, he's a cross between Gregory Peck and Stewart Granger.

  Sally Rogers : Hey, that ain't too bad. What's his name?

  Buddy Sorrell : Stewart Peck.

• Laura Petrie : Rob, would it make you happy if I burned them? Is that what you want? You just say the word, dear, and I will burn them.

  Rob Petrie : Burn them.

  Laura Petrie : No, sir. Not if you're gonna take THAT attitude.

• Laura Petrie : [fighting with Rob over the phone]  And I object to your tone.

  Rob Petrie : You're gonna hear a dial tone in a minute 'cause I'm gonna hang up.

• Rob Petrie : [entering and seeing Joe]  Well, how's the old duffer today?

  Joe Coogan : [turning around and smiling in recognition]  Old duff...? Rob!

  Rob Petrie : [seeing Joe in his priest collar for the first time]  Well. Why, I didn't mean... I didn't mean you're an old duffer, Foffer. Father! Father Duffer! I mean, Father Duffy.