The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)

Too Many Stars (1963)

Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Laura Petrie : Rob, why don't you just come out and admit it? She was very very good.

  Rob Petrie : All right, she was fantastic. All right, you know, for what she does there.

  Laura Petrie : Well, what does THAT mean?

  Rob Petrie : Well, Honey, it just means that the whole thing is... is just a trick, that's all.

  Laura Petrie : A trick?

  Rob Petrie : Well, yeah. She fooled everybody, Honey. You come out and sing great and dance great, people are GONNA think you're talented. She didn't fool me, though. Not for one minute. I saw through her. You take away all that fabulous dancing, all that great singing, what is there left? Nothing but that... haunting beauty.

• Rob Petrie : [Mel Cooley wants to audition his ventriloquist act]  Oh, Buddy, will there be a part for a ventriloquist in the show?

  Rob Petrie : No, but there's a part for a dummy.

• Rob Petrie : Say, how did we do at the box office, anyway?

  Mrs. Billings : Well, I am very proud to announce this was our greatest year. We only lost $75.

• Rob Petrie : I don't want any more of those sketches about Alan wakin' up in the morning and finding a Saint Bernard in his bed.

  Buddy Sorrell : That's the truth. It happened to me.

  Rob Petrie : Buddy, you never had a Saint Bernard in your bed.

  Buddy Sorrell : No? Did you ever see my wife in the morning? I keep yellin' at her, "Take off that ridiculous cask of brandy!"