- Eric Duckman: [approaching a woman] Excuse me, you look like you've been around the oasis a few times. You know where I can find some hookers?
- [the woman punches him]
- Eric Duckman: Hey, if you don't speak English, just say so!
- Cornfed Pig: We've got to get to the banquet and stop that toast.
- Ajax: But I like toast. It's the muffins that must be stopped.
- Eric Duckman: Okay son, now you're starting to scare the viewers.
- Eric Duckman: Who's tall, dark and creepy?
- 'Beware!' guy: Beware, beware! That is the sultan's fahir, Achmed Abjeer, an evil man, full of tricks and tortures and torments! It is said that when the moon is full, he...
- Eric Duckman: [stopping him] All right, thank you, we'll be in touch.
- Dr. Ben Stein: [not watching the road while he's driving, hitting multiple people] Mr. Duckman, if you as a chaperone on your son's field trip cannot act with a modicum of decorum, I'll rip out your heart and feed it to my dingo.
- Eric Duckman: [held prisoner while riding a camel, rubbing something] Come on, please, something happen!
- Cornfed Pig: [sitting behind Duckman] Duckman, you can't save us just by rubbing some magic lamp.
- Eric Duckman: Who said anything about a magic lamp?
- [continues to rub]
- Eric Duckman: Come on, come on!