- Cooter: Well, y'all, what you got here is a sad, sick car with a dried-up, busted bearing.
- [climbs out]
- Luke Duke: Bo, if you had greased them bearings the other night like I told you, instead of spooning with that Mackenzie girl, the General might not be in this condition.
- [climbs out]
- The Balladeer: Now, I'll tell you, folks, if I had my choice between greasing a car and necking with a pretty girl, I'd be wearing the same silly smile that old Bo is.
- Daisy Duke: [old gent is without his trousers] You'll just have to sit a mite longer, Mr. Stovall, I'm almost finished pressing your pants.
- Luke Duke: [holding up dusty garment] I wish I could say the same for your jacket. How the heck did you get so dirty?
- Dewey Stovall: I fell getting out the back of that truck on the edge of town.
- Bo Duke: Dewey, we didn't even stop at the edge of town.
- Dewey Stovall: I know. But after I lost the money, I just couldn't bear to stay in there another minute.
- Luke Duke: Well, I don't blame you. He was playing a crooked game. I saw him work the gizmo on that roulette wheel myself.
- Dewey Stovall: But I was playing poker.
- Daisy Duke: [brings the old guy his trousers] It's a cinch, if they fixed one game, they fixed 'em all.
- Luke Duke: You know, our friend Dewey here didn't stand a chance.
- Bo Duke: Daisy, do you want to turn around?
- Dewey Stovall: [as he puts on his trousers] Now, I guess I got what was coming to me.
- Luke Duke: How is that?
- Dewey Stovall: For being a fool. All my life I've been happy just running my own little hardware store till that big city chain come to town and took away the better half of my business.
- Daisy Duke: [turns around] What did you do?
- [old guy is still pulling on his trousers]
- Daisy Duke: Oh. Sorry.
- Dewey Stovall: Well, I figured I'd fight fire with fire, and make my store just as big as theirs. Only thing is, I didn't have money enough to do the job right, so...
- Bo Duke: So you figured you'd gamble whatever you had and make the big kill.
- Dewey Stovall: Yeah. But what I have, or had, was every cent Lucy and I ever owned. Twelve hundred dollars.
- Luke Duke: Mr. Stovall, if we could get your money back, would you promise not to go back to that gambling truck?
- Dewey Stovall: Sure, Luke, but how...?
- Luke Duke: Never mind how.
- Daisy Duke: Luke's got that look in his eye again.
- Bo Duke: And right after he gets that look in his eye, he goes
- [snaps fingers]
- Bo Duke: "I got it! Let's go, Bo!" And I get into trouble.
- Luke Duke: [snaps fingers] I got it! Let's go, Bo!
- Bo Duke: [smiles at Daisy] See what I mean?
- Daisy Duke: Luke, what are you up to?
- Luke Duke: It's simple. All we do is steal back the twelve hundred dollars they stole from Mr. Stovall.
- Bo Duke: Oh. As long as It's simple. You know, for a minute there I thought we were gonna have to do something illegal.
- [Luke throws his head back laughing, then beckons Bo to follow]
- Dewey Stovall: Daisy...
- Daisy Duke: Yeah?
- Dewey Stovall: You can turn around now.
- [as she sits down next to him on side of the armchair:]
- Dewey Stovall: What do you suppose they're really gonna do?