- Ray Barone: [Ray is driving while Robert sits in the passenger seat and removes his shoes] I think we hit a skunk that crawled out of the ass of another skunk.
- Robert Barone: I admit that there may have been times when I might have mentioned in passing that I possibly envied you. But not anymore. And would you like to know why?
- Ray Barone: Yeah, no, not really. Where the hell is the waitress?
- Robert Barone: Everything you have - successful career, great family, free hot dogs - has made you lose touch with reality. You... are spoiled.
- Ray Barone: Oh. Yeah. And I guess all those years sponging off mom and dad have made you a better person.
- Robert Barone: It certainly did. I may have a thankless job, be divorced, pay full price for a hot dog, but I happen to have something you'll never have.
- Ray Barone: A tail?
- Ray Barone: I'm not driving in the car with Robert for four hours. His feet smell.
- Marie Barone: Well, take a bus.
- Ray Barone: A bus. That's a smelly feet contest.
- Marie Barone: Raymond, your brother was talking about some sort of a ceremony? It sounded like a lot of fun to me. And since you are a sportswriter and have such important connections...
- Frank Barone: Oh, just say it, Marie. The Hall of Fame is honoring the 1969 Mets. Your brother asked your mother to ask you to take him.
- Ray Barone: Which one of you do I say no to?
- Robert Barone: All right. Uh, excuse me, officer.
- Officer: Yes?
- Robert Barone: Sergeant Robert Barone, NYPD, 2-4 precinct.
- Officer: Oh, you're NYPD?
- Robert Barone: Yeah. This here's my kid brother, Raymond. I was dozing off, so I didn't notice he had such a lead foot. But I'm gonna keep a closer eye on him from here on out, okay?
- Officer: Look, with all due respect, we're pretty strict here with our laws, so I got to write the ticket.
- Robert Barone: But - but I carry a shield.
- Officer: Then you should know better, officer.
- Robert Barone: Hey, listen, I don't know how you do things out here in the sticks, okay? But in the city, cops look out for one another.
- Officer: I'm glad we had this conversation. It gave me a chance to notice your brother's inspection sticker. Now, I might just be a country bumpkin, don't know much about all that book learning and fancy numbers, but near as I can figure, this looks like it's expired. I'll be right back with another little present for y'all,
- Ray Barone: [trying to cut in line] Look, look, look. I'm Ray Barone. I work for Newsday. I'm covering this thing. I'm a reporter.
- Man #2: Good. Give us a report on the back of the line.