Everybody Loves Raymond (TV Series)

Lucky Suit (2002)

Brad Garrett: Robert Barone

Photos 

Quotes 

• Marie Barone : [the front door swings open showing Robert with a look of crazed fury on his face, startling everyone]  How did your interview go?

  Robert Barone : Come here. Let me tell you about it.

  Marie Barone : Didn't it go well?

  Robert Barone : Oh, it was going okay, and then Agent Garfield read me a letter about crazy Robert in his lucky suit.

  Debra Barone : What?

  Marie Barone : I never said crazy.

  Raymond "Ray" Barone : Ma, what did you do?

  Robert Barone : She faxed the FBI a letter about how she ruined my lucky suit.

  Marie Barone : I wasn't sure it went through; it's the first time I ever used a fax machine.

  Debra Barone : Marie, why don't you go into the kitchen? Robert, how about you stay here and... maybe blink a few times?

  Robert Barone : Why would you do it? Why would you send a letter? The guy looked at me like I was a pathetic, candy-ass mama's boy.

  Marie Barone : Well, then he seems awfully critical.

  Robert Barone : HE'S THE FBI, MA! I WASN'T APPLYING FOR A JOB AT THE GAP!

• Secretary : [Robert is at a job interview for a position in the FBI]  This fax came for you, sir.

  [She hands Agent Garfield a piece of paper and walks out] 

  Robert Barone : So, as I was saying...

  Agent Garfield : Is this a joke?

  Robert Barone : Excuse me?

  Agent Garfield : "Dear FBI Agent Garfield. "I'm writing to ask for your understanding. "You have an interview this morning with my son, Robert Barone. I think you will find Robert to be an exceptional candidate for the job. He is hard-working, brave, and handsome.

  [Agent Garfield stops and looks at Robert, possibly to assess his looks] 

  Agent Garfield : But I feel I have hurt his chances somewhat. You see, he has a lucky suit. And while I was ironing this morning, I ruined it. He was very upset, so he might be a little distracted. Please don't hold this against him. If anything, blame me. I don't mind, I'm used to it. Of course, it's also my other son Raymond Barone's fault. He's a famous sportswriter. Perhaps you've heard of him. But mostly, I'm to blame. I only wanted Robert to look his best. Thank you for understanding. Sincerely, Marie Barone."

  [Robert clears his throat] 

  Agent Garfield : "P. S."

  Robert Barone : Oh, God.

  Agent Garfield : "Please ask Robert to forgive me. I tried, but it'll mean more coming from you."

  [He puts down the letter and looks at Robert] 

  Agent Garfield : Please forgive your mother.

• Marie Barone : You're upset because you feel your interview didn't go as well as it could, and I'm sorry, too. But that doesn't give you the right to lash out at me.

  Robert Barone : [somewhere between a scream and a growl]  LISTEN TO ME, WOMAN!

  [normal voice] 

  Robert Barone : Now, if this was the only time that you ever screwed me up, I just would have gone home and said, "Oh, that Mom..." But this is just the latest in your psychotic series of attempts to keep me down!

• Marie Barone : Hello, Robbie.

  Robert Barone : Hey.

  Marie Barone : May I come in? I made you cookies. Double chocolate chip.

  Robert Barone : Thank you.

  Marie Barone : You know, I was thinking about what you said.

  Robert Barone : Uh-huh.

  Marie Barone : About me sabotaging you. And although I'm not crazy about the word "sabotage," um, maybe I understand now what you meant.

  Robert Barone : Oh, yeah?

  Marie Barone : Yes. After you said it, I went for a drive. Um, and I stopped at that diner on Roosevelt Boulevard for a cup of coffee and some banana cream pie. And all of a sudden, I thought, "My gosh, maybe Robbie is right."

  Robert Barone : Really?

  Marie Barone : It just hit me all of a sudden.

  Robert Barone : Really? At a diner? Over banana cream pie?

  Marie Barone : It's funny how the mind works.

  Robert Barone : It didn't happen at the FBI office of Agent Tom Garfield about 35 minutes ago?

  [There is a long pause] 

  Marie Barone : No, I think it was the diner.

  Robert Barone : Ma.

  Marie Barone : All right, so I went to visit him. Love makes you do crazy things sometimes. Banana cream pie How did you find out?

  Robert Barone : He called me.

  Marie Barone : What? How dare he stick his nose into my business!

  Robert Barone : Look, Ma, he told me what you said.

  Marie Barone : Well, he's a liar.

  Robert Barone : Look, Ma he told me how you feel about my job.

  Marie Barone : Well, I'm sorry. I can't help it.

  Robert Barone : I know. Thanks.

  Marie Barone : So, you going to work now?

  Robert Barone : Yep.

  Marie Barone : Well, then, you...

  Robert Barone : I'll be careful. Come on, I'll walk you to your car.

  Marie Barone : Listen, just so you know I didn't make everything up, I really did stop for pie.

  Robert Barone : That's okay.

  Marie Barone : But it was coconut. I don't know why I changed it.

• Robert Barone : Oh, come on, Deb, come on! You know how she is! Now's your chance. Tell her how you feel! It's time to rise up and cast off the shackles!

  Raymond "Ray" Barone : Easy there, Spartacus.

• Robert Barone : Everybody, I have some great news!

  Frank Barone : Your blue ox came home?