- Peter Griffin: You wanna talk about awkward moments? Once, during sex, I called Lois "Frank". Your move, Sherlock.
- Peter Griffin: [after the British guy explains the rules of Cricket to Peter] Does anyone know what this guy's talking about?
- Cleveland: The only British idiom I know is that fag means cigarette.
- Peter Griffin: Then would someone tell this cigarette to shut up!
- Lois Griffin: [about Nigel] Nigel's charming. All British men are.
- Peter Griffin: Yeah, right. That's what they said about Benjamin Disraeli.
- Benjamin Disraeli: [Writing at desk after a pause, looking up at the viewer and then continues writing] You don't even know who I am!
- Tricia Takanawa: This charred portrait of Elizabeth II brings a poignant new meaning to the phrase, "Hey! Check out that flaming queen!"
- Eliza Pinchley: [at a party] How good of you all to come... Oh, bloody hell, I've gone and wet meself!
- Peter Griffin: Oh, Jenny! Jenny! Oh yeah, Jenny, don't stop! Aw, Richard Jenni, your HBO comedy specials have brought pleasure to millions! And what a sweet ass!
- Peter Griffin: [after being punched] What the hell? I thought you English guys never move.
- Officer: That's just our women.
- Tricia Takanawa: One thing is certain, the pain here is palpable. For many, this charred portrait of Elizabeth the 2nd gives poignant new meaning to the phrase 'Hey, check out that flaming queen'.
- Steve Bellows: Well, well, Officer Swanson. You and your friends. You're all dead!
- Peter Griffin: Oh, good. He thinks we're zombies. He'll leave us alone.
- Stewie Griffin: No, no, no! If you're ever going to be a lady, you must learn to speak like one. Now try it again. The life of the wife is ended by the knife.
- Horace: Ah! Florida stunk! An alligator mounted me when I wasn't lookin'. Laid eggs in my lower intestine. Ah, but you're all thirsty. I'll bore ya another time.