- Steve Urkel: Where's the recruiter?
- Laura Winslow: Well, the bad news is you're not going to M.I.T.
- Steve Urkel: Oh boy.
- Laura Winslow: The good news is Caesar's Palace booked you for a month.
- Steve Urkel: I've wanted to go to M.I.T. since I was in diapers, why, my first word was Massachusetts!
- Carl Winslow: When you're married to a beautiful woman like Harriette, you're always worried that somebody will take her away from you.