- Laura Lee Winslow: If you're really my guardian angel, where're your wings and your harp?
- Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard.
- [At The Winslow home in the alternate world]
- Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: I'm flat broke, dad. Can you give me some money so I can finish my Christmas shopping?
- Carl Otis Winslow: [Grabs his wallet] How much do you need?
- Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well now that depends, how nice of a Christmas gift do you want.
- Carl Otis Winslow: I'll tell you what son, why not give me cash for Christmas.
- [Puts his money back into his wallet]
- Carl Otis Winslow: Thanks for the present son.
- Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, cash is so impersonal.
- Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, why can't you manage money like your brother, Steve? He finished his Christmas shopping weeks ago and never asked me for a penny.
- [Steve Winslow comes down the stairs]
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Hey dad. Edward! I"m going to the mall to hand out gifts to orphans kids
- Carl Otis Winslow: That's wonderful, son.
- [Faces Eddie]
- Carl Otis Winslow: Look at him, charming, handsome, popular. Steve is the perfect son.
- Laura Lee Winslow: [Faces Ty] Steve is my brother?
- Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Remember you wished that Steve could find out what's it like to be you. Now you're going to find out what it's like to be Steve Urkel.
- [Laura walks in the door dressed up in a stereotypical nerd fashion. Steve is embarrassed that he didn't walk out the door faster. Carl and Eddie are also shocked too]
- Laura Lee Winslow: [Urkel voice] Seasons Greetings, Winslows!
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Get lost, Laura!
- Laura Lee Winslow: Alright!
- Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What're you so happy about? He just told you to get lost.
- Laura Lee Winslow: I know, but he said 'get lost, Laura'. Yesterday he said 'get lost, Fido Face!'
- [to Steve]
- Laura Lee Winslow: I'm wearing you DOWN, baby!
- Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [about Harriette's gingerbread house] This is a work of art.
- Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette?
- [does Steve's laugh and snort]