- Steven Quincy Urkel: Look, you've got this big bed. Why can't we share?
- Laura Lee Winslow: Does shag carpet also make you crazy? Forget it, Steve.
- Steven Quincy Urkel: Well, then where am I gonna sleep?
- Laura Lee Winslow: I don't know, and quite frankly, I'm tired of thinking about it. Grab a blanket and go sleep in the bathtub.
- Steven Quincy Urkel: But Laura...
- Laura Lee Winslow: Go!
- Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No!
- [Thunderclap]
- Steven Quincy Urkel: I will *not* sleep in the bathtub! *You're* gonna sleep in the bathtub!
- Laura Lee Winslow: What?
- Steven Quincy Urkel: I wasn't the one who overslept, Ms. Rip Van Winslow. I tried to help you!
- Laura Lee Winslow: I know...
- Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! Then, I drove you here in *my* car, and were you pleasant company? No!
- Laura Lee Winslow: Steve...
- Steven Quincy Urkel: I'm not through! Then, you broke my car, and it cost me every cent I got to fix it and rent this "delightful" room here at the "Fleabag Inn".
- Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, if...
- Steven Quincy Urkel: Oh, put a cork in it, Missy! Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! I'm a person, and I have feelings, and I demand to be treated with respect and dignity!
- Laura Lee Winslow: Steve, could you go a little faster? We're getting dirty looks from old people!
- Steven Quincy Urkel: But I'm going the recommended cruising speed for this vehicle Any more could be risky.
- Laura Lee Winslow: Let's just take that risk. Let's just get there!
- [steps on the gas]
- Steven Quincy Urkel: Land sakes, woman. Have you taken leave of your senses?
- Laura Lee Winslow: How fast are we going now?
- Steven Quincy Urkel: Gee, I don't know, the speedometer only goes to thirty.
- [the car breaks down. Steve looks at Laura]
- Laura Lee Winslow: Did I do that?