- Barney Rubble: [about Bamm-Bamm] A real cute baby, eh?
- Orderly: You see one, you've seen them all.
- Barney Rubble: Oh, yeah? Well, this baby is different.
- Orderly: You'd have to show me.
- Barney Rubble: Oh, he'll show ya. Let him squeeze your finger. He's a lot different.
- [leaves]
- Orderly: Okay, kid, squeeze my finger.
- [outside the office door]
- Betty Rubble: Come on, Barney.
- Barney Rubble: [listening against the door] Uh, just a minute, Betty.
- [Barney hears Bamm-Bamm crushing the orderly's finger]
- Orderly: OH! OUCH!
- Bamm-Bamm Rubble: [slamming the orderly] Bamm, bamm! Bamm, bamm, bamm!
- Barney Rubble: I bet that wise guy thinks Bamm-Bamm's different now!
- Barney Rubble: Hey, uh, now-now, watch, Pebbles.
- Fred Flintstone: Barney...
- Barney Rubble: Uh, just a minute, Fred. I gotta do more stunts for Pebbles.
- Fred Flintstone: First, there's a little stunt you're going to do for me.
- Barney Rubble: Well, what's that, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: GET OUT OF HERE!
- Wilma Flintstone: Fred!
- Fred Flintstone: [pushes Barney towards the door] Out, out, out!
- Barney Rubble: Hey, uh, what are you trying to say, Fred?
- Fred Flintstone: [pushes Barney out] And stay out!
- [slams the door]
- Barney Rubble: [returns] I'll have you know I'm Pebbles' godfather!
- Fred Flintstone: I'm seeing my lawyer about that in the morning!
- Betty Rubble: But, Fred, you don't understand.
- Fred Flintstone: Mrs. Rubble, may I have my baby?
- Betty Rubble: [gives Pebbles to Fred] Uh, oh, of course, Fred.
- Fred Flintstone: Thank you. NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
- Barney Rubble: Come on, Betty. I can tell when we're not welcome.
- [a tearful Betty leaves]
- Fred Flintstone: Get your own baby and leave mine alone!
- [after finding baby Bamm-Bamm on his doorstep]
- Barney Rubble: Ooh, gee. If I would've known that's all there was to getting a baby, I would've wished on a falling star long ago.
- [after Fred insensitively orders the Rubbles to leave]
- Wilma Flintstone: Frederick Flintstone, that was the most disgraceful performance I have ever seen in my life. Give me that baby.
- [Fred gives Pebbles to Wilma]
- Fred Flintstone: But, Wilma, I...
- Wilma Flintstone: Thank goodness she's too young to understand. I wouldn't want her to know her father made our best friends feel bad just because we've been blessed with a child and they have not.
- Fred Flintstone: Well... I just... I... I only... Aw, Wilma, you're right. I'm... I'm a... I'm... I'm a heel.
- Wilma Flintstone: No, no, you're not really, Fred. You're jealous, thoughtless, loudmouthed, overbearing, quick-tempered, possessive, but not a heel.
- [Barney is comforting the weeping Betty]
- Barney Rubble: Oh, there, there, Betty. Fred didn't mean it.
- Betty Rubble: [crying] I know. We've been over there every night since Pebbles came. He should've told us off long ago.
- Barney Rubble: Yeah, that's right. We're so anxious to have a baby, we take it out on Fred and Wilma.
- [Fred appears]
- Fred Flintstone: Hi, Betty, Barney. Me and my big mouth. Will you forgive me? I'm a heel.
- Betty Rubble: It was our fault, too, Fred.
- Barney Rubble: Eh, you're no heel, Fred.
- Betty Rubble: I'll say not.
- Barney Rubble: Uh, you're jealous, thoughtless, loudmouthed, overbearing, and possessive.
- Fred Flintstone: Uh, you forgot quick-tempered.
- Barney Rubble: Uh, yeah, yeah, that too.
- Betty Rubble: [reading a note] "Please take good care of Bamm-Bamm."
- Barney Rubble: Bamm-Bamm? That's an odd name.
- Betty Rubble: [continues reading] "He is an orphan and needs a good home and the peaceful surroundings of Bedrock." Whee! Oh, Barney, we've got our very own baby!
- Barney Rubble: [picks up a club] Hey, hey, look, Betty, this must belong to Bamm-Bamm.
- Betty Rubble: [giggles] Oh, it couldn't. He'd never be able to lift it.
- [Bamm-Bamm walks over to Betty and Barney and holds out his hand]
- Barney Rubble: [chuckles and gives the club to Bamm-Bamm] This must be what he wants. Oh, he's all boy, that fella.
- Betty Rubble: Isn't he darling?
- [Bamm-Bamm starts hitting the floor with his club, shaking the house]
- Bamm-Bamm Rubble: Bamm, bamm, bamm! Bamm, bamm, bamm!
- Betty Rubble: Stop him, Barney!
- Bamm-Bamm Rubble: Bamm, bamm, bamm! Bamm, bamm, bamm!
- Barney Rubble: [picks up Bamm-Bamm] N-N-N-No, Bamm-Bamm! Don't do that!
- Betty Rubble: Barney, don't speak mean to him. Reason with him.
- Barney Rubble: Okay.
- [holds out his finger]
- Barney Rubble: Now, Bamm-Bamm, you mustn't hit anything with your...
- [Bamm-Bamm grabs Barney's finger, crushing it]
- Barney Rubble: Ouch! Hey, hey, hey, let go of my finger!
- Bamm-Bamm Rubble: [slams Barney back and forth] Bamm, bamm! Bamm, bamm, bamm!
- Betty Rubble: Barney, are you all right?
- Barney Rubble: Yeah.
- [laughs]
- Barney Rubble: Now I know how he got the name of Bamm-Bamm.
- [chuckles]
- Barney Rubble: He's all muscle!
- [Barney and Betty are driving to the Child Welfare Authority]
- Betty Rubble: Drive slower, Barney. I don't want Bamm-Bamm shook up.
- Barney Rubble: But Wilma and Fred will be waiting for us.
- Betty Rubble: Let them wait. Now, please slow down.
- [as Barney drives slower, a turtle passes them]
- Barney Rubble: Well, okay. But if I go any slower, I'll be backing up.
- [the Rubbles arrive, accidentally slamming the door on Fred]
- Barney Rubble: Hiya, Pebbles. Here's your Uncle Barney. Uh, where's Fred?
- Wilma Flintstone: Behind the door, I think, Barney.
- [Barney finds Fred slammed against the wall, behind the door]
- Barney Rubble: Oh, uh, hiya, Fred. Uh, what are you doing there?
- Fred Flintstone: [sarcastically] Playing hide-and-seek, what else?
- Betty Rubble: Look, Barney, a falling star.
- Barney Rubble: Yeah.
- Betty Rubble: Ooh, make a wish quick, Barney.
- Barney Rubble: A wish?
- Betty Rubble: They say if you wish on a falling star, your wish will come true.
- Barney Rubble: No kidding?
- [Betty and Barney close their eyes and make their wish]
- Barney Rubble: Hey, uh, what did you wish for, Betty? Huh? What?
- Betty Rubble: I can't tell you. It'll spoil the wish. A-And don't tell me your wish either, Barney.
- Barney Rubble: I won't.
- [turns towards the viewers]
- Barney Rubble: But I bet you've all guessed what we both wished for.
- Fred Flintstone: I suppose the girls will all get together for a baby shower.
- Barney Rubble: Oh, no. That's out. No showers. He's a bathtub kid for a couple of years yet. Right, Bamm-Bamm?
- Fred Flintstone: Bamm-Bamm?
- Barney Rubble: Yeah, that's his name, Fred, and it fits him.
- Fred Flintstone: Fits him? That's ridiculous.
- Barney Rubble: Well, I'll show you. Uh, let him hold your finger.
- Fred Flintstone: Okay, here.
- [Fred holds out his finger, Bamm-Bamm grabs and squeezes it]
- Fred Flintstone: Hey! Hey! Ooooh!
- Bamm-Bamm Rubble: [slams Fred back and forth] Bamm, bamm! Bamm, bamm, bamm!
- Barney Rubble: Oh, that Bamm-Bamm's real strong for a baby, huh, Fred?
- [laughs]
- Fred Flintstone: Bamm-Bamm's real strong, period!