Frasier (TV Series)

Adventures in Paradise: Part 1 (1994)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : [dressing for his date]  Damn it! Eddie, I know you took the socks that go with this suit. Now where are they?

  [Eddie pulls a pair of brown socks from under the couch] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Brown socks with a blue suit? I think not. Try again.

  [Eddie pulls a pair of black ones from under the cushions. Frasier dresses] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, well, I'm off! You know, I have a good feeling about tonight. I have a song in my heart, a little dance in my step, and dog saliva around my ankles!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : You know, I haven't said this out loud, but here goes: she may very well be the woman I spend the rest of my life with.

  Roz Doyle : Go. Go do that. Get married, have a couple of kids, move out to the country, buy a puppy, live happily ever after! Just don't tell me about it, I need a boyfriend!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Dear Roz. Dear, silly Roz. Dear, silly, horny Roz.

• [while Daphne is teaching Niles to blow smoke rings, Frasier comes in and sees her puckering her mouth close to his] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Niles, what are you doing?

  Dr. Niles Crane : I'm learning how to blow smoke.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : *Where*?

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Let's go tomorrow.

  Madeleine : You're on.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I know the perfect place -- Bora Bora!

  Madeleine : Hubba hubba!

• [a scene erupts in the restaurant where Frasier and Madeline are dining, when the owner's daughter tells him she's pregnant] 

  Ettienne : Are you going to tell me?

  Yvette : No, no!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You know, there's a clam house up the road that has a late seating...

  Madeleine : Oh no, I think we're getting the most bang for our entertainment buck right here.

• [as the restaurant owner's wife leads her daughter out of the kitchen, and calls her husband out as well] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : No, no, listen, if-if everyone comes out here, how will you know when our duck is crispy?

• [Ettienne is enraged on finding out his daughter is pregnant] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : All right, silence! Silence! Both of you just try to calm down. I'll see what I can do. Monsieur Degas, you are angry now. That is a temporary emotion. You are devastated because you think the bond between a father and a daughter has been broken. She is no longer your little girl. But that's not possible. That bond cannot be broken...

  [indicates the busboy cowering in the corner] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Not even by that young man cowering there in the corner who is so obviously the father.

• Martin Crane : You know, these things don't happen that often. It's like when I met your mother, it was at a crime scene. Hester was a psychiatrist, so every now and again the department would have her run up a profile on a suspect. I remember the first time I met her. It was over the chalk outline of a murder victim. She drew a little smile on the head of the outline, and I drew a pair of eyes, and before you knew it we were laughing like a couple of kids.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Dad, you're a ghoul.

  Martin Crane : I was joking. We couldn't draw on the outline, they hadn't moved the body yet.

• Roz Doyle : It's okay, Frasier, you've thanked me every day for the last two weeks.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Yes, yes, but if it hadn't been for you, I never would have met...

  [sighs] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Madeline. It's just -- you know, we went out again last night, and it's just perfect between us! We talk, we can laugh at the same...

  Roz Doyle : Just stop. Did it ever occur to you that since I'm in one of the worst dating droughts of my entire adult life, that to hear you prattling on like a giggling schoolgirl about your storybook romance might be the teensiest bit irritating?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : No, it hadn't, and you're right, Roz. I'm sorry, sometimes I can be so insensitive. But, you know, Madeline's helping me with that, she is so good, she is so good, in, like, every way!

  [Roz screams "God!" and batters her clipboard against her forehead] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : All right, I'm sorry.

• Roz Doyle : [calling a woman for Frasier]  Hi, Miss Marshall? Could you please hold for Dr. Crane? Thank you.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [She pushes Hold and steps back. She and Bulldog urge Frasier to pick up the phone]  Oh, all right. "Once more unto the breach."

  [picks up and punches line one] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Hello, this is Dr. Frasier Crane. I know we've never met, but you know, from everything I know about you, you just seem like the most fascinating person. I was just wondering if - well, why don't I just come out and say it? Would you be so good as to have dinner with me tonight?

  [beat] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh well, well, that's very gracious of you to accept, Chester, but I didn't mean you.

  [to Roz] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Roz, you could have told me she was on line two!

  Roz Doyle : You could have asked.

• Madeleine : Well, you know when we first started going out, we both agreed we didn't want to rush into the physical part, that we'd save ourselves for the right moment.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [looking around in surprise]  It's now?

  Madeleine : No, actually, uh, I was wondering what you thought about us going away for the weekend -- just the two of us.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, uh... I'd miss my favorite shows, but sure.

  Madeleine : I was thinking, two, three days...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [They kiss. The kiss gets deeper. They throw their arms around each other]  I was thinking more like a week.

  Madeleine : Okay, now for the really big question: When?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, the minute we get there.