Frasier (TV Series)

An Affair to Forget (1995)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Niles : [to Gunnar]  All right, fine, you want to challenge me? En garde!

  Frasier : Oh yes, Niles, that's just what we need, a fourth language!

• Niles : So, you want to build a two-master schooner...

  Daphne Moon : Schooner? I thought it was a frigate.

  Niles : No, a frigate has a fore-and-aft mainsail.

  Daphne Moon : No, no, that's a brigantine.

  Niles : Oh, you're right. Well, then what's a frigate?

  Martin : That's when you just don't give a damn anymore!

  [leaves] 

• [Martin and Niles are building a model sailing ship] 

  Daphne Moon : Did I ever mention one of my ancestors was a mutineer on the H.M.S. Bounty?

  Martin : No kidding.

  Daphne Moon : Yeah, from what we can tell, he made it safely to Pitcairn Island, where he was quite fruitful and multiplied. You know, for all I know, there's some girl who looks exactly like me running around the South Seas, frolicking in the surf, all brown-skinned and bare-breasted...

  [Niles snaps the mast he's holding in two, sending the pieces flying over the table] 

  Niles : So you want to build a two-masted schooner...

• Niles : Marta! You speak German?

  Marta : Que?

  Frasier : Uh, habla alleman?

  Marta : Si! Yo trabajo para una familia allemana que llego a Guatemala despues a la Guerra.

  Frasier : Apparently she worked for a German family that turned up in Guatemala... just after the war.

• Niles : [thinking that Maris is having an affair]  I just got in the car and started driving.

  Frasier : Well, I'm glad you ended up here.

  Niles : Actually, I ended up at the Oregon border-check. I had fruit in the car so I had to turn back.

• Frasier : Niles, are you going to be spending the evening with us?

  Niles : Yes. As much as my Maris misses me, she feels family comes first. When she saw this model, she felt it was the perfect project for me to share with dad.

  Frasier : She wanted you out of the house, huh?

  Niles : Like a musty smell.

• Niles : Farvegnugen!

  Gunnar : Farvegnugen?