Frasier (TV Series)

Ask Me No Questions (1997)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Quotes 

• Dr. Niles Crane : I serve you up a question, you clumsily bat it back to me. We've hardly missed our squash game at all.

• Dr. Niles Crane : [holding up a violin ornament]  Who's there?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [off-camera]  It's Frasier, let me in.

  [Niles puts the ornament down and opens the door] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : How did you get up here?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, the doorman was asleep.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Well, what a coincidence, so was I.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I'm sorry, Niles, I apologize for the late hour.

  Dr. Niles Crane : What's wrong? You smell of the streets!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, I was wandering Seattle in desperate search for an answer to your question. I know how crucial my opinion is to you and I didn't want to take your question lightly.

  Dr. Niles Crane : [still tired]  What question?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You asked me if I thought you and Maris were meant for each other.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, right.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I can't believe it! I've been to hell and back agonizing over this question and you forgot!

  Dr. Niles Crane : No, no, no, I didn't forget. I'm sorry, Frasier, I'm groggy. Come in, come in.

  [Frasier comes inside and heads for the couch where Niles joins him] 

  Dr. Niles Crane : I'm touched that you've given this so much thought. You're a good brother.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Thank you.

  Dr. Niles Crane : [sitting next to Frasier]  So, please.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, this is hard for me to say but... no. I don't think you and Maris are meant to be together. I believe that a marriage should be built on a foundation of friendship and mutual respect. With Maris I fear that you never experienced those things fully. And I question whether you'll ever be truly happy.

  Dr. Niles Crane : [taking it in]  I see. Well, thank you.

  [Niles stands up] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : You're hurt, aren't you?

  Dr. Niles Crane : No, I-I just need some time to process this. I appreciate you stopping by, it's just that it's one of those times I need to be alone.

• Dr. Niles Crane : [to Frasier]  Do you think Maris and I are meant to be together?

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, Niles! Maris is here, isn't she? How could you?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Well, she offered and I said yes.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : How could you do something like this without waiting for my opinion?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Well, someone certainly has a high opinion of his opinion!