- [the Crane boys get into trouble at a motor skills class]
- Randy: Let me see you guys out in the hall.
- [the other students make "Ooh...", "Busted." noises]
- Randy: And bring your books and tools.
- Frasier: [sarcastically as he stands up] Oh-ho, we're in trouble now.
- Niles: [following behind] We're not in trouble, we *are* trouble.
- Randy: [to Frasier and Niles who have joined an auto repair class and are failing it miserably] I have a feeling you two are going to be my special project.
- Frasier: Randy, if I may? On behalf of the class, I would like to say that I-I feel that we're all a bit anxious. But with Randy as our driver, and desire as our gasoline, we will complete this journey together. To paraphrase a famous little engine, "I think we can."
- [a man in the middle row gathers his books and leaves the room]
- Dr. Frasier Crane: What do we actually accomplish by learning to change our own spark plugs? Oh yes, of course we acquire a new skill, but aren't we taking a job away from a qualified mechanic?
- Dr. Niles Crane: Someone who may have a family to support. Not to mention all the merchants who depend on his disposable income for their livelihood!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, yes, the human toll begins to mount!
- Dr. Niles Crane: Society decays!
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Not if I have anything to say about it! Niles, I'm quitting! If you care one jot about civilization, you'll quit too.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Our duty is clear. Do we have time for gelatos?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I think so, yes.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: We became back-row hooligans, Niles. The very students we hated back in school.
- Dr. Niles Crane: I always thought they were just mean. Now I realize they were simply acting out of frustration.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: So when Billy Kreizel tried to stuff you into your locker after math class, he wasn't really mad at you. He was mad at Pythagoras.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Which is ironic, because a simple volume equation would have shown him I couldn't fit.