Frasier (TV Series)

RDWRER (2000)

David Hyde Pierce: Dr. Niles Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Martin : McGinty's going in for a bypass next month and he's afraid he might not make it out for St. Paddy's Day.

  Niles : This is a disaster.

  Martin : No, they'll just pop in another pig valve. You know, the only reason he needs it is because he eats so much bacon. So, the same thing that's killing him is keeping him alive. There's your "O. Henry" story.

• Niles : Cancel the millennium! Chez Henri has burned down!

  Frasier : Burned down?

  Niles : Apparently, Henri was caramelizing a huge crËme brulÈe in the shape of Puget Sound when a sugar spark ignited a thirty foot papier machÈ "Space Needle." They're already calling it the worst centerpiece disaster in the history of Seattle.

• Martin : [at the restaurant]  I wonder if you can still get sticky shingles here.

  Niles : One look at the salad bar says yes.

• Frasier : [answers phone]  Hello?

  Niles : [on phone]  Frasier?

  Frasier : Yes?

  Niles : Niles. Put your fears to rest. I've got Dad's Winnebago back!

  Frasier : Niles, what on earth are you talking about? You must've had a nightmare.

  Niles : Indeed I have, but it's over now, and I've managed to give the thugs a taste of their own thieving medicine!

  Frasier : [sees that Niles is not in the back of the Winnebago and gasps]  Niles! Niles, where are you calling from?

  Niles : From behind the wheel of the Road Warrior! And doing a damn fine job driving, I might add!

  Frasier : But *I'm* in the Road Warrior! You got in the wrong car, you idiot! You've STOLEN a Winnebago!

  Niles : Oh, don't be absurd...

  [sees pictures of an old lady with her grandkids and a mug reading 'World's Greatest Grandma'] 

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Henri built his reputation with that caramelizing torch. My God, the irony of him burning down his own restaurant with it. It's worthy of O. Henry.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Oh, Henri.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [Niles laughs]  Please, Niles, it's too soon to joke.

• Niles : Well, maybe we can just stay in tomorrow night.

  Frasier : On the most significant New Year's Eve of our lifetime? I think not!

  Niles : I should have just gone with Mel. She and her mother are taking a hot air balloon through the wine country.

  [Martin and Frasier look at him] 

  Niles : Well, not in the balloon, no, but I could have followed along in the recovery vehicle.

• Frasier : Wait a minute! Speaking of wine, wasn't the wine club having some sort of a party?

  Niles : Yes, at Ken Lauerbock's place in Sun Valley. Oh, it's a huge event.

  Frasier : Of course, "Auld Lang Wine!" Niles, call to see if we're still invited.

  Niles : All right, I'm on it.