Frasier (TV Series)

Roz and the Schnoz (1998)

Jordan Baker: Paula Garrett

Photos 

Quotes 

• Frasier : Quiche Lorraine, anyone?

  Steve Garrett : Quiche her? I hardly know her!

  Paula Garrett : Oh, Steve!

  Steve Garrett : [Puts nose over it]  Boy, that smells wonderful.

  Paula Garrett : [With nose over it]  Does it ever.

  [Frasier holds in his laughter] 

  Paula Garrett : Do you mind if I ask? Is this homemade or store-bought?

  Steve Garrett : Honey, don't ask that! Pardon my wife, sometimes she gets a little nosy.

  [Frasier tries his utmost not to laugh] 

  Paula Garrett : Me nosy? You're the nosy one in the family.

  Steve Garrett : Anyone who knows you knows you're nosy!

  Paula Garrett : Anyone who knows you knows you're nosier!

  Martin : [Frasier walks back to the kitchen]  Something wrong, Fras?

  Frasier : [Frasier bursts with hysterical - and clearly audible - laughter]  "Quiche her? I hardly know her!"

  [everyone laughs] 

  Frasier : I just got that!

• Frasier : [to Roz as she emerges from the powder room]  Roz, this is Steve and Paula Garrett.

  Roz : [astounded by their large noses]  Hi.

  Steve Garrett : Hi... oh, that's alright Roz, we don't blame you for being shocked.

  Paula Garrett : I mean, we're used to it. You should see the looks we get.

  Steve Garrett : You were a little taken aback yourself, weren't you, Dr. Crane?

  Frasier : Oh-ho-ho, certainly not!

  Paula Garrett : Oh, come on, it's alright! Everyone comments on it.

  Frasier : Well, I must admit when I opened the door I...

  Paula Garrett : [finishes]  ... couldn't believe we were old enough to have a twenty year-old son.

  Frasier : [lying]  Exactly! You know, you both look so young. Don't they, Roz?

  Roz : [still astounded, as the Garrett's turn to face her]  Yes... young. Very, very, young.

  Paula Garrett : Oh Roz, I can see you're feeling a little uncomfortable, so let's just say, right up front, that we have no intention of intruding on your life.

  Steve Garrett : Rick told us what a wonderful person you are. We just wanted to meet you and offer any help or support that you think is appropriate.

  [Frasier gives Roz a reassuring smile] 

  Roz : [sincerely and beginning to settle down]  Thanks. That's very nice.

• Paula Garrett : [Steve and Paula seem unaware of the size of their noses]  Did I hear you mention you're going to a dog show?

  Dr. Niles Crane : Yes, the Seattle Kennel Club is having its annual event tonight.

  Paula Garrett : You know, Steve and I went to that a few years ago. We just love dogs! We have two giant Schnauzers.

  [Niles quivers in place, fighting hysterics. Daphne is also fighting hysterics. Niles takes a seat on the couch with a goofy smile on his face, much to the chagrin of Roz and Frasier] 

• Steve Garrett : [Looking out Frasier's window]  My goodness, Paula look at the view!

  Frasier : [turning to look out the window herself]  Oh.

  Frasier : Roz, why don't you show the Garretts the view?

  Paula Garrett : Oh yes, that would be nice. I could use a breath of fresh air!

  [Roz takes the Garret's out on the balcony. Once they are outside, Niles and Daphne release their fit of hysteria] 

  Frasier : [angry]  Just stop it, the two of you! My God, you're acting like a couple of two year-olds!

• Martin : [Continuing his story as Roz and the Garretts come back inside]  Well, the whole weekend was like that! Just one surprising event-

  [Martin turns around and screams at the sight of the Garretts' large noses. Niles and Daphne once again have to suppress their giggles as Roz looks on nervously] 

  Steve Garrett : I-I'm sorry, did we startle you?

  Martin : [regaining his composure]  Oh, no, no, I-I didn't know we had company.

  Frasier : Dad, Dad, this is Steve and Paula Garrett. They're Rick's parents, you remember Rick?

  Martin : [shaking hands]  Oh sure, yeah! Hi, how are ya? Nice to meet you, Marty Crane.

  Roz : [after an awkward silence]  Oh, they're just on their way to Paris to visit Rick.

  Martin : Oh, yeah? That sounds like fun.

  Paula Garrett : Yeah, I'm just a little nervous. I hear the Parisians can be kinda snooty.

  [This time, Martin turns away as he tries to fight his own fit of hysteria with Niles and Daphne] 

  Daphne : [Fighting to keep her composure]  Excuse me, I've got something in the oven.

  Dr. Niles Crane : Let me help you.

  Martin : Yeah, uh, me too!

  [as they make their way into the kitchen, Niles, Daphne and Martin collapse with stifled, hysterical laughter] 

• Paula Garrett : Hi there, Steve Garrett.

  [Frasier is taken aback upon seeing Steve's enormously large nose and mechanically shakes his hand] 

  Steve Garrett : My wife's just... uh, honey?

  Paula Garrett : [off-camera, to someone else]  Well, it was nice seeing you too!

  [Paula turns around to face Frasier' she also has a enormously large nose] 

  Paula Garrett : Oh, what a coincidence, your neighbor goes to my hair salon. Hi, I'm Paula.

  Frasier : [recovering, shaking hands]  Frasier Crane. Won't you please come in? Roz'll be out in a second. She just went to powder her... self.

  Steve Garrett : We hope this isn't too awkward for her. She sounded a little anxious on the phone.

  Paula Garrett : Then again, who could blame her? She doesn't know what kind of people we are. A situation like this is enough to make anyone a little nervous.

  Frasier : Well, actually you know, Roz really isn't the nervous type.