Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Ride Along (1999)

Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chandler : You tried to save a sandwich from a bullet?

  Joey : I know this doesn't make much sense...

  Chandler : *Much* sense?

• Chandler : Wow, that sandwich smells good.

  Joey : Did I say you could smell it?

  Chandler : I can't smell it?

  Joey : Half the taste is in the smell. You're sucking up all the taste units.

  Chandler : Okay, I'll give them back.

• [Chandler is angry because Joey attempted to save Ross instead of him] 

  Chandler Bing : You dove in front of Ross! Ross!

  Joey Tribbiani : That's what this is about! Oh my God, you hate Ross!

  Chandler Bing : I do not hate Ross!

  Joey Tribbiani : Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture.

  Chandler Bing : What picture?

  Joey Tribbiani : [scowls]  I don't know, but I don't like what I'm hearing!

  Chandler Bing : I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but it could've been a bullet and you know, you didn't try to save me!

  Joey Tribbiani : Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I... knew... you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he needs help. He's not street like us!

  Chandler Bing : When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.

  Joey Tribbiani : [embarrassed]  Well, no, not exactly! Alright, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. Alright? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.

  Chandler Bing : From a bullet?

  Joey Tribbiani : I know it doesn't make much sense...

  Chandler Bing : *Much* sense?

  Joey Tribbiani : Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!

  Chandler Bing : So you risked your life, for a sandwich!

  Joey Tribbiani : I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler, this is...

  [Joey picks up the sandwich] 

  Joey Tribbiani : ...the greatest sandwich in the world!

  [Chandler is no longer angry; instead, he is amused] 

  Chandler Bing : [smiles]  So you didn't, uh, choose Ross before me.

  Joey Tribbiani : No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother!

  Chandler Bing : [beaming]  Really?

  Joey Tribbiani : Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me...

  [Joey unwraps the sandwich and offers it to Chandler] 

  Joey Tribbiani : ...here.

  Chandler Bing : Thanks.

  [Chandler takes the sandwich] 

  Joey Tribbiani : No, eh, oh-oi, easy, it's not a hot dog!

  [Chandler takes a bite] 

  Joey Tribbiani : How good is that?

  Chandler Bing : [with his mouthful]  Oh-oi-ho, yeah!

  Joey Tribbiani : See?

  Chandler Bing : Hm-hmm.

  [Chandler is about to take another bite] 

  Joey Tribbiani : Oh-whoa-hey, dude, what are you doing?

  Chandler Bing : I thought you were showing me how much you mean to me.

  Joey Tribbiani : Yeah. With a bite!

  [Joey takes the sandwich back] 

  Joey Tribbiani : Gee-e-e-eez!

• Chandler Bing : [after Ross got demoted from riding shotgun with Gary]  Look at Officer Ross riding in the back with the visitors.

  Joey : Yeah, what's up with that, Serpico?