Friends (TV Series)

The One with the Thumb (1994)

Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rachel : [enters]  Where's Joey?

  Chandler : Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?

• Chandler : [imitating a lisp]  We loved Schteve! Schteve was schexy.

• Phoebe : ...And I found 500 extra bucks in my account.

  Chandler : Ohhh, Satan's minions at work again!

• [first lines] 

  Phoebe : [enters coffee shop]  Hey, guys.

  [everybody responds] 

  Dr. Ross Geller : Oh, hey, how did it go?

  Phoebe : Oh, not so good. He walked me to the subway and said "We should do this again."

  [much sympathy evoked] 

  Rachel : What? "Let's do it again." That's good, right?

  Monica Geller : Uh, no. Loosely translated, "We should do this again" means "You will *never* see me naked."

  Rachel : Since when?

  Joey Tribbiani : Since always. It's like, dating language. You know, like, "It's not you" means "It *is* you."

  Chandler : Or "You're such a nice guy means *i'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them *to you.*

  Phoebe : Or - or, you know, "I think we should see other people" means "Ha-ha, I already am!"

  Rachel : And everybody knows it?

  Joey Tribbiani : Oh, yeah. Cushions the blow.

  Chandler : Just like when you were a kid and your parents put your dog to sleep, and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.

  Dr. Ross Geller : That's funny, you know, because our parents *did* actually send our dog off to live on a farm.

  Monica Geller : Uh... Ross...

  Dr. Ross Geller : What? Hello? The Milner's farm in Connecticut. The Milners, they had this *unbelievable* farm that they keep horses, and then rabbits that he could chase, and...

  [pitying look from Joey] 

  Dr. Ross Geller : Oh, my God, Chichi!

  [clutches his forehead] 

• Phoebe : I can't believe you. You've been so good for three years!

  Chandler : And this...

  [gestures with cigarette] 

  Chandler : ... is my reward!

• Chandler : [re approving of Alan, Monica's new boyfriend]  Oh, yeah, I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhoff impression alone! You know you could do that at parties, right?

  [mimics Baywatch's Mitch running in slo-mo on beach]