- Jesse Katsopolis: The day I turned 13, my body flipped out. My nose outgrew my face. My ears outgrew my nose. I was your basic Mr. Potato Head.
- Joey Gladstone: So before you were a stud, you were a spud.
- Jesse Katsopolis: When I was a kid, the kids used to tease me. They called me 'Zorba the Geek.'
- Joey Gladstone: [laughs hysterically, then grows serious when he sees the killer look on Jesse's face] Kids can be so cruel.
- Stephanie Tanner: [the kids taunt her about being Walter's girlfriend] STOP IT! He's NOT my boyfriend!
- [quieter]
- Stephanie Tanner: But he is my friend.
- Walter: Really, Stephanie? I'm your secret friend?
- Stephanie Tanner: No Walter, you're my everyone-can-know friend.
- [turns to the others]
- Stephanie Tanner: And if you were my friends, you wouldn't make fun of him either!
- Brian Kagan: Why not? It's fun.
- Stephanie Tanner: Oh yeah? Was it fun when you got hurt and everybody called you Crying Brian?
- [Harry laughs]
- Stephanie Tanner: I wouldn't laugh, Harry, remember when you got that haircut and everybody called you Salad Bowl Head?
- [Laurie laughs]
- Stephanie Tanner: What's so funny, Miss Milks-Through-Her-Nose-on-Parents Day-*twice*?
- Laurie: Hey!
- Stephanie Tanner: See? It's not funny being called names.
- Stephanie Tanner: [On phone] Walter, this is Stephanie Tanner. And I'm really sorry. Well, nice talking to you.
- [Starts to hang up phone, but Jesse stops her]
- Jesse Katsopolis: Don't you think you should mention what you're sorry for?
- Stephanie Tanner: [Talking into phone] I'm sorry I cracked at you.
- [Starts to hang up phone again, but Jesse stops her again]
- Jesse Katsopolis: And?
- Stephanie Tanner: [Talks into phone] And I called you 'Duck Face' and threw little pieces of bread at you.
- Jesse Katsopolis: You threw pieces of bread at the kid? Stef, he's not a real duck! Tell him he's a very nice boy!
- Stephanie Tanner: [Talks into phone] And you're a very nice boy. You're welcome.
- [Looks at Jesse]
- Stephanie Tanner: Anything else?
- Jesse Katsopolis: Is there anything you'd like to say?
- Stephanie Tanner: Yes. There is.
- Jesse Katsopolis: Good girl.
- Stephanie Tanner: [Into phone] Wanna say hi to my Uncle Jesse?
- Joey Gladstone: What are you talking about? We are right on time.
- Danny Tanner: Joey, that's a barometer.
- Joey Gladstone: Well, in that case, we'd better get moving. There's a hurricane brewing.
- Walter: You know what I'm doing now?
- Stephanie Tanner: I'm afraid to ask.
- Walter: I'm giving you a secret kiss... in my mind.