- Michelle Elizabeth Tanner: [the family has arrived at the gym to work out and Jesse is holding Michelle, to a bodybuilder] Hey, mister, you are very lumpy.
- Jesse Katsopolis: I hope you're not offended. And if you are, that's her father over there.
- D.J.: I'm skipping lunch, do you want my sandwich?
- Kimmy Gibbler: Sure.
- [looks under the bread]
- Kimmy Gibbler: Ham again? I've been eating your lunch for 3 days now and every time, it's ham. Did your dad hit a pig with his car?
- D.J.: Steph, you pinkie swore!
- Steph: I don't care, I don't want you to get sick. Dad, I know why she got dizzy at the gym and I know why she's cranky, she hasn't eaten in 3 days.
- Danny Tanner: You haven't eaten in 3 days?
- Jesse Katsopolis: Deej, I think you better sit down and eat something right now.
- D.J.: I can't! I'm finally losing weight!
- Danny Tanner: D.J., this behavior can lead to serious eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia. You're heading down a dangerous path.
- D.J.: I don't care! It's my life and I can do whatever I want with it!
- Aerobics Instructor: Come on, guys, staring at women is not a workout.
- Joey Gladstone: Oh no? She's got my heart pumping.
- D.J.: This can't be! Two days and I've only lost half a pound? I'm going off this stupid diet.
- Jesse Katsopolis: Good, you shouldn't be on a diet anyway. If you want to lose weight, why don't you try exercise? You could go to Michelle's gym.
- D.J.: Oh yeah, like I really want Michelle's body.
- Jesse Katsopolis: They have an adult gym too, tell you what, the whole family will go, they could all use some toning up. Of course with me it would just be toning tone.
- D.J.: I want to look like these models!
- Danny Tanner: Why?
- D.J.: Because they're pretty!
- Danny Tanner: I think you're pretty.
- D.J.: Oh yeah? Show me ONE model in these magazines with this round face and these Charlie Brown cheeks.
- Joey Gladstone: [acting like a macho bodybuilder] Whadda ya bench, dude?
- Bodybuilder: 505.
- Joey Gladstone: Beginner huh? It's cool.
- Bodybuilder: [warningly] It better be.