Futurama (TV Series)
A Big Piece of Garbage (1999)
David Herman: Dr. Ogden Wernstrom, Mayor C. Randall Poopenmeyer
Photos
Quotes
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Professor Ogden Wernstrom : It's time you left science to the 120-year olds.
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Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : Professor Wernstrom, can you save my city?
Professor Ogden Wernstrom : Of course, but it'll cost you. First, I'll need tenure.
Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : Done.
Professor Ogden Wernstrom : And a big research grant.
Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : You got it.
Professor Ogden Wernstrom : Also, access to a lab, and five graduate students, at least three of them Chinese.
Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : All right, done. What's your plan?
Professor Ogden Wernstrom : What plan? I'm set for life. Au revoir, suckers!
Leela : That rat! Do something!
Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : I wish I could, but he's got tenure.
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Professor Ogden Wernstrom : I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: an A-minus-minus.
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Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : But garbage is not something you just find lying in the streets of Manhattan.
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[after Professor Farnsworth has saved the city, upstaging his old nemesis Dr. Wernstrom]
Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : I now present you with the Academy Prize, which was confiscated from Dr. Wernstrom after it became apparent that he was a jackass.
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Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : I hope this is not another scientific hoax, like global warming or second-hand smoke.
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Professor Hubert Farnsworth : A hundred years ago, he was my most promising student at Mars University. But then, after one fateful pop quiz...
[flashback]
Professor Ogden Wernstrom : A-minus? No one gives Ogden Wernstrom an A-minus!
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : I'm sorry, but penmanship counts.
Professor Ogden Wernstrom : I swear I'll have my revenge, even if it takes me a hundred years!
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : [back to present] And here it is, slightly over 99 years later, and still no revenge. I'm essentially in the clear.
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Professor Ogden Wernstrom : And what will you be presenting this evening, professor?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Let's just say it'll put you young whippersnappers in your place.
Professor Ogden Wernstrom : I just hope it's not that lame death clock you presented last year.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Uh... last year, you say?
Professor Ogden Wernstrom : That's right.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Oh, my. Did it put you young whippersnappers in your place?
Professor Ogden Wernstrom : Hardly. We all laughed so hard our teeth fell out. Come along, Cinnamon.
[Wernstrom leaves with his fish]
Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Oh, dear. I'll have to invent something new in the next ten minutes. Perhaps some sort of death clock.
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Professor Ogden Wernstrom : That's smell could be anything! A faulty stench coil, some cheese on the lens... who knows?
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Mayor C. Randall Poopenmayer : And, Fry, we owe you a tremendous debt as well. If not for your 20th century garbage-making skills, we'd all be buried under 20th century garbage.
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Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Wernstrom!
Professor Ogden Wernstrom : The very same.