- [after being assaulted by the sex-starved Amazons]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: We need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
- Fem-puter: The one called Zapp will be snu-snu'd by the large women; he that is designated Fry... will be snu-snu'd by the petite women. And Kif, as the most attractive male, will be snu-snu'd by the most beautiful women of Amazonia, then the large women, then the petite women, then the large women again!
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Well, this promises to be one disturbingly erotic date.
- Leela: Half date.
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: Waiter, a bottle of your finest wine.
- Leela: Half bottle.
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: And some oysters on the half shell.
- Leela: Quarter shell.
- Fry: [about being sentenced to death by "Snu-snu"] I never thought I would die this way, but I've always really hoped.
- [Zapp walks up to a woman in a bar and uses a pickup line]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: You know, I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.
- [Fry, Bender, Zapp, and Kif have been captured by Amazons]
- Fem-puter: After lengthy femputations, I, Femputer, have decided the fate of the men. Femputer sentences them to death...
- [everyone gasps]
- Fem-puter: By snu-snu!
- Fry, Captain Zapp Brannigan, Bender: Yeah! Woo-hoo!
- [Kif starts sobbing]
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: [to Kif] What are you? Gay?
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: [piloting a floating restaurant] Ah, she's built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro.
- Dr. Zoidberg: Well, I'm taking this old shell to the dumpster, and maybe pick up some more of those potato chips Amy threw away.
- Amy Wong: Those were toe nail clipings.
- Dr. Zoidberg: A feast is a feast.
- Amazonians: This our comedy club. Humor here funny in different way.
- Amazonian: It no reinforce stereotypes.
- Amazonian: It based on character and real situations, not random zaniness.
- Bender: Translation: boring.
- Dr. Zoidberg: And that's the story of how I got my new shell. It looks just like the one I threw out yesterday, and I found it in the same dumpster. But this one had a live raccoon inside.
- [licks his lips]
- Fry: I can't believe Leela and Amy aren't back yet from their half date. I'm gonna call the restaurant.
- Phone Recording: The number you have dialed has crashed into a planet. Please make a note of it.
- Bender: Whoa!
- Fry: We gotta go rescue them!
- Bender: Eh, I dunno.
- Fry: Bender, think of the señoritas!
- Bender: Vamonos!
- Leela: [Leela, Amy, Zapp and Kif have just crash landed on some planet] What planet is this, anyway?
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: I don't know. This entire sector is uncharted.
- Kif Kroker: It is not uncharted. You lost the chart!
- Dr. Zoidberg: [about his shell] It was starting to get a little cramped in there so I molted, why not? Ah, the fresh air feels good!
- [wobbles around]
- Professor Farnsworth: [disgusted] Stop doing that!
- Bender: Hey, you're not a fem-puter, you're a fem-bot!
- Fem-puter: Yes, it's true. I disguised myself as a fem-puter to rule the Amazonians.
- Bender: But why?
- Fem-puter: Why? Why? I came from a distant planet ruled by a man-bot disguised as a man-puter. Have you any idea what's it like to be a fem-bot living in a man-bot's man-puter world?
- Captain Zapp Brannigan: I don't often say this, but you three are the most beautiful gigantic ladies I've ever laid eyes upon.