The Golden Girls (TV Series)
Family Affair (1986)
Bea Arthur: Dorothy Zbornak
Photos
Quotes
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Blanche Devereaux : I don't think I can stand it much longer. My body feels like a Corvet up on rocks with its engine racin', the wheels just spinnin' and spinnin' with nowhere to go. I feel like I'm gonna explode! Dorothy, you have to help me. You have to do something.
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Honey, there's nothing I can do, so get that look out of your eye and let go of my arm!
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Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Rose, what do you call a girl who's slept with a man she's known for less than one day?
Blanche Devereaux : A damn good sport?
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : I call her a tramp.
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Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : How did this happen?
Michael Zbornak : I didn't plan it, it just kind of happened.
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Just kind of happened? Michael, DANDRUFF just kinds of happens, and if you don't know the difference, then I failed as a mother.
Michael Zbornak : Would you stop beating yourself up? This isn't your fault.
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Yes it is, where did I go wrong with you?
Michael Zbornak : You did a great job with me.
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : If I did a great job with you, you would be graduating medical school right now, not playing doctor with my best friend's daughter!
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Rose Nylund : [Offscreen] Oh, my God!
[Blanche and Dorothy get up from the table and go into the bedroom where Rose is talking to see what is wrong]
Bridget Nylund : [Sheepishly; Bridget is in bed with Michael] Hi there.
Rose Nylund : Oh, girls, don't look!
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Michael Zbornak, you get out of that bed *right* now!
Michael Zbornak : Believe me, Mom, I'd like to, but in light of the fact that my clothes are hanging on the doorknob, I don't think it's such a good idea.
Rose Nylund : Oh, my God, they're naked!
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : People usually are in this situation, Rose.
Blanche Devereaux : Unless they're all dressed up in costumes.
[Dorothy gives Blanche a look and Rose winces]
Blanche Devereaux : Sorry.
Sophia Petrillo : [Enter Sophia] What's all the commotion?
[Sees Bridget and Michael in bed]
Sophia Petrillo : Oh, *boy.*
Michael Zbornak : Grandma, this isn't what it looks like.
Sophia Petrillo : Please, I'm 80 years old. I may not remember what it feels like, but I sure as hell remember what it *looks* like.
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Rose Nylund : [after catching their kids in bed] I can't believe it, you know how it is when you just can't believe something?
Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Yes, I can't believe Alan Thicke has his own TV series, it doesn't mean it's not true.