The Golden Girls (TV Series)

Fiddler on the Ropes (1989)

Bea Arthur: Dorothy Zbornak

Photos 

Quotes 

• Rose Nylund : I still feel guilty about going through Pepe's things.

  Blanche Devereaux : Me too. Although it was kind of exciting opening his closet and seeing his little boxing trunks hanging there with that provocative nickname on 'em.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Blanche, Everlast is a brand name, not a nickname.

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : I never had a mind for money matters. I always used to let Stanley handle all our investments.

  Rose Nylund : Did he have a head for numbers?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Stanley? The man used to have to get naked to count to twenty-one.

• Blanche Devereaux : Girls, you are my very best friends in the entire world, and I trust and respect you more than any people I know, so I want you to tell me the truth. Now, honestly, do you think I'm competent at what I do?

  Rose Nylund : Based on the sounds from your bedroom, I bet you're damn near spectacular.

  Blanche Devereaux : [annoyed]  I am talkin' about my job at the museum.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Of course you're competent, Blanche, I mean they wouldn't have kept you for five years if you weren't.

  Blanche Devereaux : Well, then, why do you think my boss is constantly lookin' over my shoulder?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : I would guess a plunging neckline and a push-up bra.

• Sophia Petrillo : Let me tell you a story, Dorothy. Picture it: Sicily, 1920. Two young girls pack their bags and leave their tiny village to seek fame and fortune and a meal cooked without oregano. Their journey takes them to a seaside town where a ship prepares to depart for the New World. They're just...

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : The New World?

  Sophia Petrillo : Hey, anybody can say Baltimore. There's an art to telling these stories.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Sorry.

  Sophia Petrillo : Where was I?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Departing for the New World.

  Sophia Petrillo : Oh, right. Anyway, the price of steerage turns out to be 900,000 lire. Or approximately a buck and a quarter. Which is exactly the amount of each girl's life savings.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Exactly?

  Sophia Petrillo : That's why this is a story instead of an immigration report. May I continue? One girl chooses to spend her money and take a chance on adventure. The other plays it cautiously and books only a ferry to Sardinia, saving the rest of her money for a rainy day.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Lemme guess, Ma. You were the one who chose adventure.

  Sophia Petrillo : You also would've said Baltimore instead of the New World. You're no good at this, Dorothy. I'm the girl who played it safe. Maybe if I'd made the other choice, I'd have been prime minister of Israel instead of my good friend Golda Meir.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma, you never met Golda Meir!

  Sophia Petrillo : Please! I almost married her husband, the man who perfected the hot dog.

  Sophia Petrillo , Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Oscar Meyer.