The Golden Girls (TV Series)
Ladies of the Evening (1986)
Rue McClanahan: Blanche Devereaux
Photos
Quotes
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[the girls have been picked up for prostitution and are in a holding cell. One of the "working girls" takes offense at something Blanche says, and Dorothy steps in to save the situation]
Dorothy : Hey you punk... you wanna fight with somebody, you fight with me but I warn you I did time in Attica.
Hooker #3 : Attica's a *men's* prison!
Dorothy : I know. I was there a year before they found out.
Hooker #3 : [backing down] Sorry, chief. Didn't mean to ruffle your feathers.
Blanche : Dorothy, that was magnificent, how did you do that?
Dorothy : I taught in the public school system. It's really not that different.
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[last lines]
Burt Reynolds : Hello.
[the girls are shocked to see Burt Reynolds at their door]
Burt Reynolds : Sophia around?
Sophia Petrillo : Oh, hi, Burt!
Burt Reynolds : How about a little lunch?
Sophia Petrillo : Listen, if you're buyin', how about a big lunch?
Burt Reynolds : Great.
Blanche Devereaux : My god. You're Mr. Burt Reynolds.
Burt Reynolds : I hope so. Otherwise, I got the wrong underwear on.
[to Sophia]
Burt Reynolds : These the roommates you told me about?
Sophia Petrillo : Yeah.
Burt Reynolds : Which one's the slut?
Blanche Devereaux , Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak , Rose Nylund : I am!
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[Dorothy, Blanche, and Rose have been arrested and locked in a police cell after being mistaken for prostitutes - just when they were about to attend a party hosted by Burt Reynolds]
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : This has to be the biggest disappointment of my life!
Blanche Devereaux : Yes!
Rose Nylund : Yeah. And I've known some real disappointments too, believe me!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Rose, you're not going to tell us the story about the exploding pig again, are you?
Rose Nylund : I never told you a story about an exploding pig, Dorothy. It was a peg-legged pig! Our possum was the one that exploded.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Forgive me, Rose. There have been so many possum explosions lately, it's hard to keep track.
Blanche Devereaux : So, what was this great disappointment in your life, Rose?
Rose Nylund : Butter. I wanted to be butter queen!
Blanche Devereaux : Oh, yeah. What an actress. She was so good in "Gone with the Wind." I wanted to be Miss Olivia de Havilland myself.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Blanche, are you listening to this?
Blanche Devereaux : Bits and pieces.
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Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma, thank God you're here!
Sophia Petrillo : Arrested for prostitution! I can't believe it!
Blanche Devereaux : Sophia, we're innocent!
Sophia Petrillo : I know that. I can't believe these dumb cops would think people would wanna pay money to sleep with you!
Rose Nylund : Sophia, did you come to bail us out?
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : No, Rose! She's dropping off a manacotti with a file in it!
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Blanche Devereaux : Girls. Do you see that man over there staring at me? He's undressing me with his eyes.
Rose Nylund : Do you want to move to another table?
Blanche Devereaux : Not yet. He's only half done.
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Blanche Devereaux : Now, Sophia! We had an understanding! Try to be reasonable.
Sophia Petrillo : Reasonable? I come to bail you out and I still don't get to go?
[Sophia snatches the tickets from Blanche and steps back]
Jail Guard : Are these your roommates, Mrs. Petrillo?
Sophia Petrillo : [beat] No. Never seen them before in my life!
Dorothy Zbornak : MA!
Sophia Petrillo : Don't you "Ma" me, you cheap floozy!
Dorothy Zbornak : How can you do this to your own flesh and blood?
Sophia Petrillo : You'll get over it, Dorothy. And if not...
Sophia Petrillo : [beat] WHO CARES! I'M GONNA SEE BURT REYNOLDS!
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Rose Nylund : There's a story in the paper about the party tonight.
Blanche Devereaux : Really?
Rose Nylund : You won't believe who's gonna be there. Dom DeLuise.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak , Blanche Devereaux : Wow!
Rose Nylund : Loni Anderson.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak , Blanche Devereaux : Wow!
Rose Nylund : Charles Nelson Reilly.
[Absolutely no reaction from Blanche and Dorothy. She tries again]
Rose Nylund : Charles Nelson Reilly.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : [Unimpressed] Wow. Who else?
Rose Nylund : John Forsythe.
Blanche Devereaux : [Breathless with anticipation, she speaks faster and faster, twisting the newspaper in her hands] Mr. John Forsythe. Oh my God! He's just the sexiest man in television. And Burt Reynolds is the sexiest man in the movies. Oh, I cannot believe this. All that manliness in one room. In one crowded room. One hot, crowded room. Everybody's steamy bodies pressed up against each other...
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Blanche. Blanche, Blanche, Blanche. You're about to set off the smoke detector.
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Sophia Petrillo : [Sophia has come to bail the girls out of jail] So, who's gonna give me their ticket?
[the girls talk amongst themselves]
Blanche Devereaux : I won the tickets.
Dorothy Zbornak : But MY MOTHER is the one bailing us out.
Rose Nylund : *I LOST BUTTER QUEEN*! Haven't I suffered enough?
Dorothy Zbornak : We'll draw straws.
Blanche Devereaux , Rose Nylund : NO!
Dorothy Zbornak : We'll flip a coin.
Blanche Devereaux , Rose Nylund : NO!