- Sophia Petrillo: Dorothy, where I come from you learn never to turn your back on family! NEVER! When your crazy cousin Nunzio started living with his pet goat, did the family turn their back on him? No. And after a couple of nights neither did the goat.
- Rose Nylund: [Talking about raising children] The hardest part for me was explaining to my Kirsten the difference between boys and girls. I knew the time had come but I kept putting it off. Finally I decided it was time to take the bull by the horns.
- Blanche Devereaux: So you told her?
- Rose Nylund: No - I took the bull by the horns, turned him around and showed her what makes a bull a bull.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: You are kidding, Rose?
- Rose Nylund: No! That's how my mother taught me.
- Blanche Devereaux: Honey, didn't that give you a false impression about... what a man would look like?
- Rose Nylund: It sure did! Can you imagine my surprise on my wedding night with Charlie?... Boy, that bull would have been jealous.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [Rose is upset about work and Dorothy is upset after falling out with Michael] Now look - Rose, stop whining! You know that you're going to have to speak to your boss about your workload. Wallowing in self pity is not going to help!
- Blanche Devereaux: [walking in] How are you feeling, Dorothy?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: My life is falling apart and now Rose is bothering me!
- Blanche Devereaux: [about Michael] You just did what you had to!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Blanche, knowing that does not help! I am going crazy - wondering where he is - I mean he could be sleeping under a pier for all I know - or in some flophouse or out on the street!
- Sophia Petrillo: [walking in] Michael called - he's staying with Stan.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: OH GOD, IT'S EVEN WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
- Rose Nylund: [Exhausted, doing research for work] I have to make sure this watch really is waterproof.
- Blanche Devereaux: [Pitying Rose's stupidity] Honey, why don't you take the watch off your wrist?
- Rose Nylund: Come on Blanche, then I'd have my hand in a bucket of water for nothing.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Stanley, why are you here?
- Stan Zbornak: Michael and I made plans to see each other tonight, y'know, a real father-son evening where we can rap, and share our feelings, and create good vibes.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [mocking] I can dig it. Where are you taking him?
- Stan Zbornak: The Hacienda Hut. Thought I'd show the kid the town, give him some quality time. Maybe it'll make up for never teaching him how to ride a bicycle.
- Blanche Devereaux: Stanley, how come I've never seen you at the Hacienda Hut?
- Stan Zbornak: I never have to stay long. I'm a chick magnet. That's why they call me Mr Lucky.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: You mean for thirty-eight years I was Mrs Lucky, and never knew it? Uh, what about the, uh, present Mrs Lucky. Does she know what a maggot you are?
- Stan Zbornak: Magnet, Dorothy. *Magnet.*