The Golden Girls (TV Series)

Zborn Again (1990)

Rue McClanahan: Blanche Devereaux

Quotes 

• Blanche : Rose, I refuse to believe you have ever read a scientific journal!

  Rose : Believe what you want! See if I care! Hypersexual bitch.

• Dorothy : What's so funny?

  Blanche : Oh, Marmaduke. Look at how he drives that car. Ha ha ha! I love my comics. Every day, Marmaduke and Apt. 3G.

  Dorothy : I haven't read Apt. 3G since... 1961.

  Blanche : Oh, well let me catch you up. It is later the same day...

• Rose : [to Blanche]  What was the best sex you ever had?

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Oh, way to go, Rose. Look, Blanche, it's late, there's only one cheesecake left, so let's make menopause the cut-off point.

  Blanche : Best sex. Oh, it's just so hard to rate these things. There's degree of difficulty, style points, choice of music, did they land on their feet during the dismount. Different people have different strengths, it's just impossible to tell. But, anything over a nine is excellent.

  Rose : Over a nine?

  Blanche : Points, Rose, points!

• Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Blanche, I need to talk to you privately.

  Blanche : Okay.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : There's this person... someone I've known for quite a while... and lately there seems to be this... attraction developing, uh... an attraction I've been trying to deny...

  [Blanche abruptly stands up and steps away] 

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Blanche, what are you doing?

  Blanche : [sighs heavily]  It's a curse. My beauty's always been a curse. I'm sorry, Dorothy, but... like the fatal blossom of the graceful jimson weed, I entice with my fragrance but can provide no succor.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : I'm talking about Stanley, you idiot!

  Blanche : Get outta here! Stan has the hots for me?

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : For *me*, not you, *fatal* blossom. For me.

• Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : [admitting she had just "slept with" her ex-husband]  Oh, I don't know, I don't know, he's just been so sweet lately, and we were at the beach in the same old car that we used to make out in, and it just got to me. It was exciting.

  Blanche : Dammit, Dorothy, if you'd have sex in public more often this kind of thing wouldn't happen.

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Look, I'm mad enough at myself as it is. I mean, Stanley Zbornak made me weak in the knees. What, you think I'm proud of that?

  Blanche : Who made the first move?

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : I guess I did. It was dark, and Stan stopped the car. I swear to you, I thought I was setting the parking brake.

  Rose : Well that's good: Safety First.

• Rose : [Complaining about a coworker]  The truth is, she's a sweet girl, looking for a friend. And we do have a common bond. She used to be a newscaster. Now, she's just an assistant like me. So, there's this cognitive dissonance between her actual and her ideal self which causes her to be practically dysfunctional. Of course, I'm no psychologist.

  Blanche : No, you're a nitwit. How come you know those words?

  Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak : Blanche, c'mon, it's not nice calling her a nitwit. But, since the cat's outta the bag, how *do* you know those words?

  Rose : I guess it's from reading the American Journal of Abnormal Psychology. It's published in St Olaf, you know. If fact, my uncle Gunther used to be the editor.

  Sophia Petrillo : And what were you? The centerfold?