- [Gary and Phoebe's Mayfair neighbor, Noël Coward, accompanies Phoebe on the piano, and applauds her performance]
- Noël Coward: Very nice. Audiences'll love it.
- Phoebe: Audiences? I'm not sure about that, everyone lookin' at ya. Doesn't it make you feel a bit queer?
- Noël Coward: No more than usual, my dear.
- [after a man called Michael Sparrow comes into the shop, Gary asks Ron to follow him to Hackney to verify that he lives there]
- Ron: Michael does live in Hackney. The Paradise Hotel is a flop-house between a kebab shop and a place that specialises in slightly-soiled wedding dresses. Is this wise, Gary? Wouldn't it be better to leave well enough alone?
- Gary: And condemn my own son to a life of misery? I can't leave him in Hackney, Ron, that's tantamount to child abuse.
- Ron: You think so? I had quite a lively evening down there. Went into a pub, had a fair few lagers, debated geopolitics with a lady wrestler who had a pierced ear, nose and throat, fell over a couple of times, then got a doner for the bus.
- Gary: You ate a doner kebab? What was it like?
- Ron: Very tasty, once I got it to keep still.