Growing Pains (TV Series)

Back to School (1991)

Joanna Kerns: Maggie Malone Seaver

Quotes 

• Mike Seaver : Don't worry, I'm taking my subjects seriously this year.

  Maggie Malone Seaver : [reads his enrollment form]  "Bugs Bunny as Archetype: Hero or Wascal"?

  Mike Seaver : If Boynton State Teachers' College offers it, e-b-dee, e-b-dee, that's enough for me!

• Maggie Malone Seaver : [on Chrissy's first day of kindergarten]  You are gonna have so much fun today. Just remember to be polite, and share, and do what your teacher says.

  Ben Seaver : Great advice, Mom. Why don't you just tattoo 'Dweeb' on her forehead.

  Chrissy Seaver : Wait a minute. Nobody said anything about tattoos!

  Maggie Malone Seaver : Honey, your brother is just using a figure of speech, as in: Put a sock in it!

  Ben Seaver : Mom, on the first day of school, if you're not careful, you'll get a label that's gonna dog you for the rest-a your life.

  Chrissy Seaver : [getting nervous]  Like what?

  Ben Seaver : Sit in front - Dorfburger. Answer any questions - Boogerhead. Hang out with anyone wearing glasses - Geekus Maximus. And most important: Eat the green jello - 'Hasta la vista, baby!'

  Chrissy Seaver : What is wrong with green jello?

  Ben Seaver : Leo 'Lime-Tongue' Plotnick.

  Maggie Malone Seaver : And who's he?

  Ben Seaver : Just the secretary-slash-treasurer of the Chess Club.

• Ben Seaver : [complaining about his bad first day at school]  At lunch, some big guy with sideburns forced me to eat green jello. God help me, I liked it.

  Chrissy Seaver : [astonished]  You ate green jello?

  Ben Seaver : Yeah. And it was like a nerd magnet. The whole Chess Club sat with me. They elected me president.

  Maggie Malone Seaver : Ben, that doesn't make you a nerd.

  Ben Seaver : [he pulls a piece of paper out of his back pocket]  No? Well this does. The school nurse says I need glasses. We're talkin' Full Frontal Nerdity.